The Lawyer (W|W)

Chapter 9

I got home feeling betrayed... I have fallen for her... Hard.... I felt the need to cry so hard to the point where I have no tears left in body... Why didn't she tell me before I could fall for her?? Why didn't she save me from having this heartache??

I made my way inside my lonely house. I feel depressed already. Why do I feel this way though?? It's not like she confessed to me and stuff. I shouldn't have let her into my head like she already has now. I'm so foolish to let myself fall for someone else. I will never fall in love ever again.

I made my way to get something to cool down myself. I know what I need right now. Wine. That's what I need at this moment. I went to my cardboard and took out a wine glass. "No this glass too small."  I said to myself looking at the small glass I was holding. It wasn't gonna help. Even the wine didn't seem like it would help.

I need something strong. Something like whiskey. Yes that's exactly what I need right now. I went to Andrew's old office and saw the bottle staring at me like it was calling for me. Fuck this. I went ahead and took the bottle of whiskey with me.

I went to the living and took the remote and switched on the TV. Of course I wasn’t interested in it I just wanted some sound that would not make me feel like a mad woman living in silence.  I don't like silence. It makes me feel like I am about to be attacked or something of some sort.

I placed my feet on top of the small table in front of me. This was going to be a long afternoon. I feel my anxiety coming up. I don't wanna do something I'd regret. I looked at the bottle I was holding thinking hard.

Fuck this I won't get up to get a glass I'll just drink this straight out of this bottle. I drank from the bottle when I suddenly scrunched my face due to the burning sensation in my throat.

I stared at the cartoons from the TV boredly as I listened to the clock tick tocking. 19:45 was its reading. This was really going to be a ĺong night. I stood up holding the bottle in my left hand while making my way upstairs in a swirly walk.

I wasn't about to stop so I continued. I placed my foot on the first and looked up. I wasn't gonna make it but I'm still going to continue. I held onto the stair handrail for balance as I proceeded to climb on all these stairs.

I finally made it. I took a big gulp of the strong drink while making my way towards my bedroom. I held onto the wall and proceeded walking using the wall for balance. I finally got to my room and headed to the bed straight. I placed the bottle on the floor and threw myself onto the bed.

I broke down into tears. I feel helpless right now. First it was Andrew coming out to me as gay and not wanting to do anything with the baby. Now it's Brooke. She made me feel all the good feelings only to find out she is with someone else.

I feel broken. I don't know if this is a way of God punishing me for stuff I don't know I ever did. If it is then Lord I am highly sorry for whatever I've done because this is very painful I feel pained and I feel it's enough.

I turned my head to face my window and watched the moon brightening my room. I wish I was like the moon, no problems just be up there and roam the universe.

I suddenly felt sleepy. I stop crying and tried dozing off. Hopefully tomorrow holds something better for me.

-

I woke up feeling a body next to me. Wait, did I go to bed with someone?? I turned around slowly and was shocked to see who it was. Brooke. On my bed. With me. She was sleeping facing upwards with one of hands on her stomach and the other under her head. She looked peaceful in her sleep. She looked very innocent like she wouldn't hurt a fly. But she hurt me.

I moved aggressively to alert her that I was up and quickly closed my eyes when I saw her waking up. "Marissa, you up??" She asked in her husky voice.  When she started using this voice of hers, I'm weak in the knees for her. But I couldn't let it get to me right now.

I opened my eyes and found her looking at me. "What are you doing here??" I asked harshly. "What do you mean what am I doing here??" She asked looking hurt. She should be feeling like that, I'm the one who's supposed to be feeling that emotion.

"Exactly what it should mean." I said to her not bothering to look her in the eyes. I attempted to get up but a pain rushed through my body to my head. I scrunched my face as I held my head. "Ahhh." I moaned feeling this foreign pain. "What time is it??" I asked Brooke still not looking at her.

"It's 14:45." She said. I layed back on the bed not wanting to get up. "Why weren't you at work today and why were you drinking knowing very well it's not safe for the baby??" She asked lowly with a bit of a rasp in her voice.

I usually enjoyed it when she cared for the baby but right now I don't because she's probably just doing it out of sympathy and I don't need that from her. "Why do you care??" I said rolling my eyes and finally getting up from my bed and walking towards my bathroom.

"What's with the attitude today??" She asked feeling annoyed. "I don't know, you tell me." I said as I entered the bathroom. I locked the door and decided to take a shower. When I was done I left the bathroom and walked into my room, to find her seated on a neat bed facing the bathroom door.