As I slip out of my thoughts I hear Daichi say, "Yeah. Asahi's back and on the neighborhood team with the veterans. We'd better step up our game." I turn to walk over there.
"We have me on our team!" I say this with a smile, but deep down I'm serious. I've been holding back some of my strength when spiking and jumping, hoping to bring comments away from my athletic ability. Tanaka proceeds to yell at me telling me to not interrupt him, but as the next play goes into motion, my smile fades. I- no we, are going to win this game. After all, we have me on the team. I have been doing my best to learn how to calculate the moves of other players, however, this has been a challenge because I haven't met someone who is super good at it yet. Sure, Nishinoya is pretty good but not perfect. I need to be perfect.
The game proceeds and I watch and analyze as the ball goes around the court waiting, looking for an opening. I see Kageyama get into a position to set the ball and I start running, to set up for a spike.
B̶̛̝̭̅̾͗̽ę̴̢̛͙͈̫̩͙̜͇̙̦͕͎̱̹̀̐̈̈̈́͋̓̊ ̵̬̺͊̈́̄̌̉̆͐̈́̅̂̄̽͘̚̕p̶͈̯̺̣͍̱̩̞̞̜̄̆͆̅̃͐̇̎̐̓͝͠͝͝͝ê̴͉̠̯̱͍͐r̸̮̾̌̂̆̾̇̈́f̴̖̮̐̆͗̍̋͝ę̴̛̥͚̦̼͚̯̼͍̯͓̩̄͌͐̈́̎̒̊̀͠c̷̻͕̻̳̰̒̿͂̐̽̒́͂̔̄̈͝ț̵̺̟͍͈̤̎̐͂̍̈́͑̐̾͌̎̎̓̕̕͝. I jump up and close my eyes, and, like always, the ball comes straight to my hands. I
smile stretches across my face. Freedom. Even for a second, feels better than the constant chain of day-to-day life, which is strewn with memories I wish would disappear.
"Nice, Hinata, Kageyama." Tanaka comes running over with his hand stretched out and I proceed to hit it.
"Thanks!" The feeling of the previous spike starts to fade and I try to reminisce in it for just a few seconds longer before the game has to continue.
"That was amazing, Shouyou! What was that? Did I really just see that?" Nishinoya comes up to me, but before I can respond I voice from across the gym shouts at me.
"Hey!" I turn to face the voice of the coach with a confused look. Why was he yelling at me? "Why did you jump there, Shrimpy?" Shrimp? I'm not that small. Before I can address the last comment my mind travels to the question. It was simple, that was the place with the best opening that Kageyama could set to. I take a second to formulate a lie. I can't ruin my character yet.
"B-Because the toss will come to wherever I jump." The coach seemed to ponder this for a second and anxiety pitted in my stomach. It was a pitiful lie, but waiting any longer would cause suspicion. The coach starts to speak again.
"What's the matter with you guys?! Are you freaks?!"
"Freaks?" Kageyama and I say together.
"But why?" I ask.
"How would I know?" Both of us quickly forget about the previous interaction and our minds focus back on winning.
B̶̛̝̭̅̾͗̽ę̴̢̛͙͈̫̩͙̜͇̙̦͕͎̱̹̀̐̈̈̈́͋̓̊ ̵̬̺͊̈́̄̌̉̆͐̈́̅̂̄̽͘̚̕p̶͈̯̺̣͍̱̩̞̞̜̄̆͆̅̃͐̇̎̐̓͝͠͝͝͝ê̴͉̠̯̱͍͐r̸̮̾̌̂̆̾̇̈́f̴̖̮̐̆͗̍̋͝ę̴̛̥͚̦̼͚̯̼͍̯͓̩̄͌͐̈́̎̒̊̀͠c̷̻͕̻̳̰̒̿͂̐̽̒́͂̔̄̈͝ț̵̺̟͍͈̤̎̐͂̍̈́͑̐̾͌̎̎̓̕̕͝. The game continues for a while and when I look over at the score I see we are at 19
and the other team is at 24. We have to win. I have to win. I have to be perfect. On the next set, I find myself directly in front of the ace. I can win. I can be perfect. There have been harder things I have beaten.
D̶̠͖̲͎̊̀̀͌̚͘͜i̷̼̯̫̗̻͂͗̇͝d̵̛̬̬͎͂̓̈͋͆̒̊ ̶̙̥͖͔̫̝̥͇̝͌y̴̭̜̺̱̻͋̈́̐͠͝ơ̷̮͕̩̞̤̺͛͊͗͆̕͘͝u̴̡̞̬̠͙͎̯̣͌̂ ̴̛̩͚̱̭̆́̀͌́̉̈̄͆ȑ̶̪̿ȩ̶̦̹͗̀̊̉ͅa̵̩̐̀̀̚l̴̫̋̂͛̕͝l̸͕̹̻͎̭̳͔̝͖̑͑͋̉̃̈́̒͌͝ý̸̭͇̀̍̒̌̈͝ͅ ̷̤̝̲͑͗̑̅͊̃͜͝b̸͇̦̩͇͕́̅̆́̉͌̀͘e̴̞̼̎́́̋͒ǎ̶̝͍̬̬̱̪̤͆ẗ̶͔́͌̕ ̷̼̪̹̹̆̔ṱ̸̑̾́̄͗̒́͝͝͠h̸̨̤̫͎̏͌̾̋͗͐̊͘̕͝ẻ̵͉͙̘̠̻̬̜̣ͅͅm̸̡͙̦̜͙̖̳̖͑͑̀̊̐͋̄͠ ̶̧̧̹̖̗̤̥̖̈́͆̊̍ơ̶̢̺̹̣̬̳̲r̶̟̽̑͒̉̉̋̌̈́̕͠ ̷̨͎͔͚̝̻̯̣̈́̂͐̚͜͜͝d̸̢̼̺̩̬̝͔̠͒̾̑͘̕͝î̷͈͍͆̂̓͋̃̽̿d̸̨͉͕̠̍̌̎͋͛̌̎͜͠ ̵̧͈̻̹̖͆͐̈́̊̽y̵͓̹͙̼͈̜̞̿̀͘ȍ̷͈̰̗͔̻̻͍͇̌͋̿̕ͅǘ̴̪̬̩͖̼͎͆̅̃̄ͅ ̴̦̮̼̮̼͕̞̱͛͛͌͂̔̑͆̍̅j̷̨̪̝͚͛̍͐̄ṷ̷͈̜̠̖̂͊͗͂̄͂̈́̓̚s̷̱̺͇̼̱̲̮̖͉̠̈́͊͗̍͐t̸̠̪̻̯̺͓͓͓̰͗͋̋͛͒̐͘ ̶͕̖͂̄s̴̛̥͉̦̲͉̠̗͓̍̃͂̒̔̈̀̚ȕ̴̢̨̹͇́̊̂̾̊̒̀̓̕r̴̡̠̪̦̠̲̼̽̈́̊͊̅̀͠͠v̶̧̛͎̥͍͎̣̭͎̩͂͊͐́͑͒̿͐ǐ̶̛̦͕͔̥̾̓͒̕̚͜v̷̢̡̛̛̥̩̈́̈́͑̂͛́̽͜e̴͎̰̦̪͗̔́̃̈́̍́͌̑͘?̷̛͓̘̻̣̙̓̀͌͂̈́́͆̚͜͠ͅ
I watch as the ball goes around the court when I see Asahi go for a spike. I jump. One touch. I watch as the ball goes out of bounds. Shoot. I look at the board. They won the set. It's only the first set though. We can win the last 2. I feel Kageyama grab my head and I turn to face him and he freezes and then walks away. If only I had the strength and power the ace has. I might've been able to save them. The game continues and I go through the motions of the game not really thinking about anything. Just absent-minded moving. I watch as Asahi goes up for another spike. It must be nice. To have that power and strength given to you.
"Hinata!" Daichi yells at me snapping me out of my mind. I see a ball hurling at me, then a sting on my face. A ton of people crowd me and Asahi starts apologizing profusely, even though it was my fault for not paying attention. I'll probably have to go to the doctor if I tell Ms. Hianta about it, something to do with me having a concussion in the past, I don't know. I sit up.
"I'm fine, sorry about that."
"You sure? Just in case, take a break." Daichi tells me. Panic rushes over me. I can't take a break. I can't win if I take a break. I can't be perfect when I take a break.
"R-Really, I'm fine! I just couldn't dodge it. It's no big deal. Besides, I'm used to getting hit in the face." I start laughing to hopefully alleviate worry from some people when I see Kageyama boiling with anger.
"Why were you distracted in the middle of the match?" Why? I don't know. It just happens sometimes. "I know why. The ace is cool. But your number one use is as a decoy, which is humble and uncool. You're thinking you could be an ace, too, if only you had height and power like Asahi-san." I look at him and make eye contact. He's pretty close. "Once you found out there's an ace, not only did you feel curiosity and admiration, but you were envious of him, weren't you? Don't think unnecessary things in the middle of a match."
"So I envy him. What's wrong with that? You're tall! You'd never understand! You could protect anyone you wanted." I saw Suga's eyes widen in the corner of my eye. My rant abruptly stops. I can't tell them. The interruption was my fault. I'll stay quiet.
The game continues. "I'm tossing to this guy next. Please block him with everything you've got." Kageyama tells Tanaka and another guy from the volleyball association. Why would you tell them that? Unless he's telling them that and not passing it to me. Or is he really just that stupid? I look at him with curiosity. "Right now, you can jump well, and you're fast, but you're lousy overall. You'll never be an ace, the pillar of the team. But as long as I'm here, you're invincible! Azumane-san's spike has awesome power. He can slam past three blockers. So how about you, then? Whenever I toss to you, do you ever get blocked?" The whistle blows and just like Kageyama says he goes up to toss to me. I look at the three giant blockers in front of me and proceed to sprint to the other side of the court, then back around to the other and jump. The time stops in the air as I open my eyes and see the ball land right in the open spot. I smile. "You're no ace. But with your speed and spring and with my toss, you can face any blocker.
The point scored by the ace's slam, and the point you scored by dodging are both scored points. So you don't wear a crown with "ace" written on it. All you have to do is score lots of points. That's why our opponents will mark you. Plus, by acting as a decoy, you'll free up other spikers, including the ace. Right?" I smile. Kageyama really cares. Just like Ray. He's all mean and scary on the outside but on the inside there really soft. I smile stretches across my face.
"Yah."
As the match continued one of the guys from the other team does a jump serve but the ball swiveled all over the place before falling a few inches in front of me. We ended up losing the match. How? Why does this always happen? I slip out of the group shortly after the game ends and start biking home. It's stupid, but I always think I'm going to win, then the ending never ends that way.
At the Gym (Ukai POV)
"Hey! Where's the Shrimp?" I scan the faces in the crowd as they look around and then I watch as Sugawara's face drop before quickly regaining composure. After cleaning up was all done I call him over. "Where's Hinata?" His face quickly drops and regains again.
"Oh, I'm not sure." He smiles and looks away toward the ground.
"You're really bad a lying. Just tell me. The only one who will get in trouble is the Shrimp so you don't have to worry." Suga starts waving his hands in front of him.
"I'm really not sure where he went. I just saw him slip out of the gym shortly after the game and then he just didn't come back." I ponder this for a second before letting Suga go.
"Thank you."
YOU ARE READING
New Beginnings (HaikyuuxTPN)
FanfictionShoyo Hinata, previously known as Emma, starts a new life after losing all of their friends. They struggle to make new friends from hiding their past. And they have to figure out how to cope with a struggling mental state.
