"Hinata, let's go eat." The familiar voice of my classmate rings in my ear. Everything was so much right now. We lost our game against Aoba Johsai last week, and Ray was no longer requesting visitors. I know he probably just needs some time. But the looming thought of him requesting to never see me hung heavily on my heart. I move to grab my lunch out of my backpack. It looked so unappetizing. I didn't want to eat. "By the way, I heard it was a close match yesterday. We lost last week in our third round, too. So, the team that beat us ended up in nationals..." I couldn't listen to this right now. My thoughts haven't stopped moving since we lost the game. I failed during that game. I didn't do enough. I stand up, pushing the chair back.
"I have to go." I grab my stuff. The monotonous hallway seemed to stretch for miles even though the walk to outside didn't take long. There was a spot by the gym. No one was ever there. It's a good spot to think, maybe my mind will finally quiet down. I lean down and grab the volleyball that is always in my bag and start setting it up. The ball falls and is soon risen back up into the air. A steady pace soon falls over my hands. Muscle memory takes over. I messed up so many times in the match. I missed serve after serve. I failed to receive, receive after receive. The ball stops in my hands, my hands squeezing the ball. Dammit. Why can't everything just be good? I place the ball to my forehead. Why can't I just see Ray?
"Hinata!" Sugawara snaps me out of my trance. "What's up?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"You're crying." I move my hand to my face. Sure enough, my face is wet. I didn't even notice it.
"I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind." Sugawara's eyes soften and he places a hand on my shoulder. I sigh, knowing he was encouraging me to tell someone about the thoughts. "Ray doesn't want to see me right now. And I know that he just needs time to process everything, but..." This time I do feel the tears sliding down my face. "I'm so scared that he's going to leave me again. I don't know if I can handle it if he leaves me again." Last time Ray left I had to put on a brave face. There were still children around. I had to be a role model. It was so much easier to stay composed, but now there was no need to lock all thoughts away. I can focus on everything else.
"I'm sure that Ray is just doing what he feels is best for you. He wants you to be safe. I'm sure he'll come around."
"But what if he doesn't?"
"Then you'll have us to lean on." Sugawara smiles. Some of the pain drifts away, being swallowed up by the light radiating off the smile. I give a slight smile in return.
"Thanks."
"That's what I'm here for. I'll see you at practice?" I nod. "Great, see you then." Sugawara waves and slowly drifts out of view.
After Practice
"WE'RE GOING!" Takeda yelled, tripping over himself. I slowly approach the scene with the rest of the team.
"Where are we going?" I ask. Takeda sits up and flashes a piece of paper.
"We're going to Tokyo."
"We're going to Tokyo, Tokyo?! That means we get to play more right!" I smile, a genuine smile this time. Volleyball always has a way to cheer me up, even when everything is bad.
"Yup! And get this, it isn't only going to be Nekoma there. Nekoma is a part of an association called Fukurodani that frequently get together and play games with each other. And thanks to coach Nekomata, we get to go too! Of course there is still a lot of red tape, but I wanted to make sure you guys wanted to go before I proceed."
"Of course we want to go!" A training camp will be fun.
"Ok guys, let's get ready to run some laps!" Daichi called out, seeing that the conversation was done.
Once we got back from running laps, Takeda was in the gym waiting for us. "The school has given us the go ahead to go to the Tokyo training camp. Of course, we need your parent's permission, so you'll all be given some sheets that I'll need back. The camp is next month, but finals are as well..." They are? I totally forgot about that. "You do know that, right?" I look away. Tests are overrated anyways. I don't get why they want me to show all this work when I know the answer. Most of the points I get off are cause I don't show my work or explain well enough. And my brain always goes blank when I'm taking a multiple choice test. "And if you fail the final, you'll have to stay and take redemption classes, and of course, Tokyo will be out." What? I guess I have to figure out how to show my work, otherwise my hope of a vacation from my mind will be gone.
"Okay, so what's failing? How bad can I do?" If I plan this out right, I could probably just try on a few questions and still pass.
"Hinata, don't worry about it. You're overreacting. I'm sure everythings gonna work out just fine." Sugawara came up from behind me.
"I don't think you understand. On a 100 point scale I don't even score in the double digits. And it's not like I don't know the stuff. I did all this stuff when I was like 12, but I always freeze up when I test. Or the teacher says something about showing my work. I don't even know what that means! I am so screwed." I panic. Just slightly.
"You did this stuff when you were twelve?" Sugawara asked, confused.
"Well I was actually 11, but I guess I started working on the stuff starting from when I was 6ish."
"YOU WERE DOING HIGHSCHOOL WORK AT 11!!!" Kageyama screamed.
"It's not like it's helping me now."
After Practice in the Club Room
"Listen you four." Daichi stood in front of us with his arms crossed. "From now on you have one rule, and it's very simple. Never fall asleep in class. Don't pull any all-nighters. They'll make you slow in class and on the court. Get 8 hours of sleep every night." Getting sleep is easy when you're not being plagued by nightmares. Nightmares of what happened in the forest still haunt me till this day.
"Kageyama." Kageyama leans his ear towards my mouth. "We should ask Tsukishima for help." I whisper.
"WHAT!" Kageyama yells. "I'm not doing that."
"If we don't pass the tests, then we won't be able to go to Tokyo and see Nekoma and play all the other Tokyo teams. Plus, didn't you tell Ushiwaka you were going to be the best setter?"
"Fine." Kageyama grumbles.
"Great!" I stand up and pull Kageyama beside me. Tsukishima just left, so if we run we should be able to catch him. And sure enough, Tsuishima and Yamaguchi weren't too far away from the club room. "TSUKISHMIA!"
Word Count: 1212
A/N: I've been dreaming of this chapter since I've started writing. I actually think the story is going to be a bit longer than a few more chapters, but we'll see. Have a blessed day <3.
"A friend loves at all times." Prov 17:17a
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New Beginnings (HaikyuuxTPN)
FanfictionShoyo Hinata, previously known as Emma, starts a new life after losing all of their friends. They struggle to make new friends from hiding their past. And they have to figure out how to cope with a struggling mental state.
