~2 months later~
After the hotel a few months ago with Mark, I went back to Cali. I haven't talked to Mark or Trey since that day, especially Trey. Mark tried callin and leaving messages but I never open them.
I don't want anything to do with him. I need time to get over him even laying his hands on me.
2 months wasn't enough.
I've been alone & depressed for 2 months with no one to talk to. I stopped working so I don't even see Trey anymore. I haven't gone out anywhere either.
I've been the antisocial butterfly that you see in every movie. I don't know where I'm going in this life anymore. Everything has ended, my friends, my career, everything.
I'm on the verge o being kicked out of my own place because I couldn't pay for the bills. What purpose does my life have anymore.
All my life I've been tricked, played, and used. No one really cares even if they say they do, when you need them they make up excuses not to help you.
I miss Mark. But I can't go back to him. They say everyone deserves another chance but I don't know too much about that. Not everyone deserves it.
I miss Trey, so much it's killing me. My days have been long, my nights have been longer being alone. There really isn't anyone for me anymore. They all left. I deserve this.
I felt a sharp pain in my heart, my skin was burning and I could barley hold myself together anymore. I would feel myself crying every night before bed until a few days ago. I don't even want to feel anything anymore. I've been cutting myself so the pain would go away.
I even purchased a gun but never had the feeling to load it and do anything with it. This time I wanted the pain to go away.....all together.
I got up off the bed and brought a chair to my bedroom. I hung a rope to the ceiling fan and brought the chair underneath the fan where the rope was dangling.
I stood up on the chair and hung the rope around my neck. I soon closed my eyes and pushed the chair away with my feet.
There I hung for a good 30 seconds before I slightly heard the door open and felt someone grab my legs hold in me up so I wouldn't choke anymore. I felt dizzy when they took me down.
As I tried to open my eyes I realized it was Trey.
I kept questioning me but I couldn't really hear him. A while later I came to my senses, I realized he was here. I had felt happiness , what I Hadn't felt in a long while.
My name is Maya Maydeen, and a week later was the day I died. Thursday May 14, 2015
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Hey guys this is the end of my book hope you liked it sorry if it was short, it's my first time writing a book and I tried. (Self harm is very serious and if you ever feel this or you're having thoughts about it please talk to someone, anyone. People will miss you)
