𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨.. // 𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙭𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙘𝙝𝙥. 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣

// Triggering topics (self hrm, blades etc.) //

"Today was the best." I spoke to Nick and Clay on FaceTime. We now have a group chat together and have been in FaceTime for two hours. Ever since I got home.

"We need to do it again sometime." Clay added, we all agreed happily. "My twitter already love you, (Y/n)." Nick laughed and I sighed.

"I know. I've already got 20,000 new followers." I said in a fed up voice, Nick and Clay starting to laugh. I grinned, "Don't worry though, check my new tweet." I said, and in a few seconds I heard my name being screamed.

@Theyhate._.(Y/n)

Just spent the day with Sapnap and Dream, I can confirm DreamNap🤭🤭

Comments-

User7291: WAIT WHAT!?

GeorgeNotFound: WHAT, (Y/N)!?

ItsAlyssa: HAHAHAHA

BadBoyHalo: OwO

User3618: PFFT-

"(Y/N)!" Nick yelled, I couldn't even speak I was to busy laughing my ass off at their reactions.

They both quickly commented it was fake, and since I'm not horrible I did back them up after a few jokes.

After a while Clay spoke, "I hate you." To which I laughed again. "Sorry, DreamNap."

"Nah, Nick only has eyes for you."

Those words literally made me choke on air, and Nick have a go at Clay who was now kettle wheezing.

"FUCK OFF CLAY, I PREFER DREAMNAP." He yelled, i burst out laughing again. Obviously I didn't take offence, me and Nick are just friends. No surprise he wouldn't wanna date me.

-

The next day was, weird..

I got my inclusion done with and the day after that I was with Nick and Clay the whole day. Even Sam blocked me on all social media. Clay reassured me I didn't need them.

I had a lot of people coming up to me, mostly asking why I was in inclusion. Even though I knew they knew the answer.

//Trigger warning, skip this little part if you want and I'll tell you when it's over :)//

The whole day I felt empty, shy, and something I haven't felt in so long. Desperate. Desperate to feel something, anything. I'm hurting, and I honestly don't think I have the right to be hurting.

Yes I did used to self harm, and I've gone four months clean. Of course I still have scars on my arms and legs, but luckily not many people notice, they've faded now but still very noticeable.

"Hey, I'll be back now." I stated, standing from our dinner table. Clay nodded, on his phone. "Alright, (N/n)." Nick said, I just walked off feeling dull.

I quickly went into the girls bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle. I reluctantly took the blade out of my phone case and lifted my sleeves.

"I need to feel something."

I pressed the sharp pressure up against my left arm, and watched the blade go in and the gooey substance start to pour out.

I let out a small whimper by mistake, I cut again. And again. Again, and again, and again. Until there were multiple large cuts all up both of my arms. All of them gushing blood.

I couldn't help but sob. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

I couldn't even remember how long I sat in the bathroom floor until I passed out.

//it's over now you guys who skipped can read :)//

I woke up to banging on the cubicle door, "OUT THE TOILET COME ON, YOU'RE LATE FOR LESSON NOW." A woman's voice yelled from outside the cubicle.

Then my memories came flooding back. Did I really fall asleep? For how long!?

I quickly pulled down my sleeves and opened the cubicle door. The teacher walked to the next locked toilet and did the exact same.

I felt the fabric rub against my cuts, it was painful but I had to get through it. I walked out of the door to see people walking to lessons. I pulled out my phone to check the time. 1:50pm it reads.

Shit. I slept through my English lesson.

Now I had science, so I quickly went down the stairs to the second floor and to the science classrooms.