𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐨𝐧𝐞

"Bitch please tell me you're coming home this month" the voice of my best friend rang through the radio of my car.

"Phoebe, we both know I don't come home even if I do have a month off" I reply, rolling my eyes at the same time. 

"You know I love you but this you never coming back home and us always having to come down there is getting tiring" she says, defeat ringing in her voice.

"Pheebs I just can't" I say, my shoulders dropping as I say so.

"I love you Belle, but I have to go. Please think about it, you might not even see him" before I can even reply, the line goes dead.

Her words ring through my mind. I know I might not even see him, but I just can't take that risk. 

I focus my eyes on the road in front of me as You Missed My Heart by Phoebe Bridgers rings through my speakers. Ironic, I know.

The rain pours down faster than my thoughts making sure to make the road glistened. The streetlights lighting up the country roads back to my house. The moon lighting up the gloomy sky like a lamp in a dark room. 

I walk through the door, slipping off my shoes and jacket. Placing my newly brought cigarettes and bottle of wine onto my front-room table. I turn on my spotify, putting my late-night playlist on through my TV. Grabbing a glass from the kitchen on my way back into the room. Just as I pour my glass of wine, my granny's name lighting up my screen with a text.

Pheebs said you still don't want to come back home. Me and your grandad are missing you lots pet and would love for you to come back for the month. He's hardly around darling. I know you're scared but just think how amazing a christmas back home would be with all of us. Love you x 

My mind drifts back to the first day I ever got myself into this mess.

I step off the bus texting the boy that I'm here before lifting my head away from my screen to straight away catch eyes with the blonde boy. 

There he sat in his rough adidas trainers, black jeans, white top and that god damn flannel shirt. His smirk sitting nicely on his face. Putting his phone back in his pocket, he stood up making his way over to me. His height difference to me becoming more obvious.

"Hey" he says as we come close to each other.

"Hi" I say, my smile coming onto my face and reaching my eyes as much as I tried to fight it off.

We start to walk outside, making small talk.

"You look pretty today" he says, both of us not knowing the impact those words would leave.

I came back to reality before taking a gulp of my wine before typing the message and hitting send.

I'm gonna come home, make up my room. Missing you and gdad too much. Love you too x