Consuming Fire

Chapter 54

Joshua found himself sitting in a green field surrounded by trees. In the distance he thought he saw a collection of camper vans and soft music, a pillar of smoke rising into the beautiful blue sky splattered with clouds above him.

"I was born here," said a voice. He looked down and saw Fearne. She lay beside him on the grass in a pale-pink dress, her hair tied back with a ribbon, the sun glittering in her green eyes.

"Fearne," said Joshua. "This is a dream?"

She nodded.

"And you're ..."

"Dying? Yeah. I'm sorry to put you through this, to put everyone through it. I just knew it was safer this way. My power is more dangerous than Dr. Wolfe himself and one day, I could go under like you or Hunter or Jack and ... I may never come out."

"You can fight it. I'll teach you."

She smiled and shook her head. "I'm sorry Joshua. I can't take that risk. Please don't tell Hunter or Will that I let the Agents inject me, that I didn't fight my power like you and Hunter did. Will, of all people, would be heartbroken."

Joshua nodded. He could take the blame for it, Will already hated him.

"No, do not take the blame for this," she said in such a forceful tone that he couldn't resist nodding. Even in the dream she could read his mind. "This isn't your fault. Stop beating yourself up for everything bad that happens and start forgiving yourself."

Joshua's throat started to clog up. He looked down at Fearne and wished he knew her better, wished he helped them escape from ICE earlier, wished he did everything he could to save them. But she was right. The hardest part about all of this was forgiving himself and, like Chevie said, to keep fighting. He couldn't believe the man actually made sense.

"You really don't trust him," she stated.

"Do you think I should?"

Fearne pursed her lips and said, "I think you should try and see both sides. What Chevie did to save his father was both selfish and sacrificial. We all make choices to save those we love, and sometimes those choices affect others. Yours did." Fearne smiled and let her head flop back, closing her eyes. "I miss this place. I miss the smell of the meadow and the campfire. I miss my mother calling out to me and braiding my hair with flowers and singing and dancing."

"You didn't deserve imprisonment, Fearne. You were too young, you had too much potential."

"I was needed somewhere else," she said happily. "But I'm not needed anymore."

"You will always be needed," he said. "Especially with Will. You were there for him when I wasn't. You're his family."

"He has a new family now. And he has Hunter. Will only ever opened up to me, but ... the moment he saw Hunter I knew, without having to read his mind, that she was the one for him." She gazed out at the meadow, tears in her eyes. It broke his heart. "Do me one last favor?"

Joshua couldn't do anything but nod.

"Just ... be there for Hunter. Don't lose yourself to the Iceman because you're trying to protect her, you'll only get yourself killed. What she needs now, more than anything, is a father."

Joshua thought of the promise he made to Liz and how he had lived his life by it. He wasn't sure he could let that go and just be a father to her.

Fearne grinned. "You always were, Joshua. Since the day she was born, you were there for her. No one else was. Just you. You have to believe in yourself."

"I'll do my best," he said.

"Thank you. Oh, and ... make sure Will knows that I love him. One day he'll understand that what I did was the right thing. But until then, make sure he knows I love him to the moon and back. Tell him that."

"Absolutely. I promise."

Joshua felt the grass in his fingers and the peacefulness in the air, watching the way the wind rippled through Fearne's hair and her little cheeks flush with warmth.

"Please stay with me until it's over?" she asked.

"I'll probably get sunburnt soon."

Fearne giggled. "Not in my dream."

They relaxed in the meadow, pretending reality was non-existent and the sun and summer breeze was all there was in the world until Joshua could feel her fading and when he looked to his left, she was gone.