Consuming Fire

Chapter 9

Jenny never intended to be a mother. Ever since college and becoming a teacher, she lost sight of her motherly instincts and started despising kids. They were ungrateful, most of them smelled and they never paid attention to her except when the buttons on her blouse came undone and she didn't notice for more than half the lesson until their snickering became unbearable and she realized she was flashing a class full of pubescent sixteen-year-olds.

But there was something about Eli that Jenny came to love and adore like her own son. Perhaps it was the guilt that came upon her when he woke up and had no memory of the past year. Even if it was Joshua's fault, somehow Jenny felt partly to blame. She couldn't shake it. Or perhaps it was her connection to the boy. Just as her love for Joshua had bloomed over the months they spent together in search for Hunter, so had her motherly instincts kicked in when it came to protecting Eli's heart.

As she found herself running through the dark path towards what appeared to be a lake behind the cabin, she felt torn in two. One part of her didn't blame Joshua, but the other part of her could understand why Eli hated him. If it weren't for Joshua, both he and his best friend Jack would be living a normal life.

"I know what you're going to say," Eli said as he spun back to her on the rocky shore of the lake. The full moon above them lit up his honey-brown complexion and sparkling, green eyes. They welled with tears. "I know, because you're biased and you love him, so before you start to defend him-"

"I won't." She made the promise before she realized it was a lie. She would always defend Joshua, even if he was wrong, because Eli was right - she did love him.

"I don't care Jenny. I can't look at him the same anymore. I can't believe I even forgave him for what he did to me and now Jack's being imprisoned and tortured and shot at, and why? Because Joshua listened to a figment of his imagination?"

"Well you know how he gets-"

"See!" he shouted. "You're defending him. Why are you so blind to it?"

"To what?"

"To his mind games! He's been manipulating you from the start, with his guilty conscience and his sad, creepy eyes. You can't honestly believe that he's not a monster deep down inside."

Jenny sighed, gazing out at the black lake and wishing it would swallow her up just for a little while so she could have some peace. "Look ... I won't deny that Joshua has made some poor decisions in his life."

Eli snorted in agreement.

"But - and despite the technicalities - he's human. He has made mistakes, and he will continue to make them. We all will. You of all people should know that fathers have an odd way of showing love for their children."

"Some just don't have love at all," Eli said bitterly.

Jenny's heart softened. Perhaps Eli had so much trouble trusting Joshua because he had been so hurt by his own father. He expected Joshua to disappoint him again and again, because that's all he was used to.

"I'm not asking you to love him Eli, or even be his friend. Despite what you may think ... Joshua will do anything to keep Hunter safe. That's what father's do. Sometimes his love for her clouds his judgment, and sometimes people get in the way. Your friend Jack was one of them. So were you. What you have to understand is that Joshua is a man who lacks trust as well. He's had it tough for most of his life raising Hunter on his own. And now he feels burdened by all the mistakes he made and how much he hurt her. Don't add to that guilt, please. It's okay if you don't forgive him just ... leave him be."

Eli's face relaxed only slightly, releasing the anger he'd been bottling up inside. Jenny felt the urge to hug him, and felt brave enough to do so. Eli wrapped his arms around her, and in that moment she knew that although there was still healing to do between the three of them, circumstances had brought them together again.

"We need each other Eli," she whispered over his shoulder. "In these dark times friendship can shine brighter than fear."

"Did a fortune cookie tell you that?"

Jenny pulled away and playfully punched his shoulder, causing him to laugh.

"Come on, let's get inside and find out what other weird shit these kids have been getting up to."

The smile on Eli's face reminded Jenny of why she never quit being a teacher - because, in actual fact, a lot of kids don't need to learn about Murphy's Law or the meaning of a verb. What they need is someone to look up to when the people in their life aren't good enough.