through the sand, for you. (gaara x reader)

chapter thirty one

The apartment is cute... cosy... really cramped. I am not quite sure how it is so cramped because I don't have much stuff. The perks of being a ninja for essentially the entirety of your life up until now. Though when noting I have a lot of random things from random places, I collected them as proof I went to that place because you know if I ever have kids, I will need to show them proof...

I am losing my mind.

I was used to being alone, but then I moved into a house with three siblings and got comfortable. I got used to never really being alone and somehow fell in love. I never thought I could fall in love. It was never really on my list of things to do. I just had fun creating something I would use in my next mission and then enjoying the adrenaline and rush of feelings that the mission would bring. I was ok with all of that stuff. I was ok making the occasional new friend and fighting, living on the run and not worrying about much. I liked being beneficial to the peace between villages. But no one really can do that now. The thin veil of peace is being ripped off by the Akatsuki, and whoever Orrichimaru and Sasuke are with. I do know they are separate, but that's it. Kakashi should have mentioned more information or gone into detail about his former student. Though the sand must know more. Hence the reason I am going back to work a day early.

I have been rereading the report of Gaara's rescue mission, and there are just too many unknowns. And the fewer dots being connected, I am getting more worried about the safety of the village, specifically myself and Gaara. It just doesn't make sense. I may obsess over the impending doom of my first 'relationship'. Well, nothing other than us sleeping with each other happened. And the only reason it is anything more is that I have feelings for him. But I know something is wrong with the situation, and neither the Kazekage nor I can have something like that happen again.

I haven't spoken to Kankuro since he told me to leave Gaara's hospital room and Temari since she stormed out two days ago. And I have yet to catch a glimpse of Gaara since he decided to change his entire personality back to the one I had known since childhood. The walk from my apartment is a little further than where the sand siblings live, but it is ok. I need to get back into shape anyways. Stuffing my face full of food from a little stall that the sweetest old lady owns. She has been giving me a discount because she keeps telling me "the village is in debt to you" and that "I saved everyone". I didn't. I just kept the village up and running in a situation of crisis. I didn't do any of the savings. I wasn't the hero. I finally reached the Kazekage's office. Back to being the assistant. I need to remain professional. I am the assistant, not his lover. I need to ensure the village is safe and everything runs smoothly. So if that means I have to help him plan his wedding or choose the name of his kids.

Nope, stop the downward spiral.

Walking through the office, I need help finding someone. It is oddly quiet as well. Anxiety spikes in my chest when I hear a thud from Gaara's office. I rush forward, grabbing the closest item that is heavy enough to hurt someone. Slamming opens the door.

"Are you ok-" the item in my hand falls and lands with a loud thud, "WHAT THE FUCK!"

I bring my hands up to cover my eyes like a toddler, "no, no, no, no...."

My sentence trails off as I hear a male sigh of disappointment and the rustle of a dress being zipped up. I am going to be genuine here. I do not know if I am relieved when I hear, "Miss Y/n... hi. Um."

"Aki, just leave. Please." I drop my hands and watch as one of the girls who helped me during Gaara's disappearance scurry out of the room with a face redder than Gaara's hair. '

Maybe there won't be a wedding after all.

"You're back a day early."

My eyes drop to where he is, drawing the fly of his pants back up. "Yea, I have things to discuss with you. It's an urgent matter."