through the sand, for you. (gaara x reader)

chapter thirty five

I said I would stop. But here I am on top of him, positioning myself to ride him. More like he is positioning me.

I am putty in his grasp, every placement of his body pressed against mine. Every dragged hold, his hands roaming against my body. I am, no I have lost it. I let him handle me. Now not a single part of me feels bad or guilty. Does this make me a horrible person? Probably. Do I care? No, not at all.

I push myself up lining my core with his dick. I move a little quicker. He definitely wasn't expecting me to, his knuckles went white from my quick movement. Squeezing my waist, my eyes fell shut. My voice gets stuck in my throat, and my hands land on his chest. His hands move from my waist to between my thighs, slowly edging them apart even further. This causes me to open my eyes and lean my body back up straight. I start moving slowly up and down.

I don't make eye contact, in fact, I avoid looking at his face altogether. If I do, I will fall even further. I know I am a strong woman, however, the redhead underneath me makes that extremely difficult when he is calling out a string of curses with my name falling into the fold. "Fuck." He groans, "Keep going pretty."

He starts assisting my movements, causing the entire scene to become more heated and tense. This is different from the first time we shared this experience, before it was gentle in tension now the air is suffocating. The both of us are drinking each other up whilst collectively pushing each other further away. "Fuck Gaara!"

"Look at me." He says through a shallow breath, I can feel him looking at me. "Fuck Y/n, let me see your face."

His hair is a mess, but god he looks fucking fantastic. I meet his eyes and he seems to quicken his pace. "Fuck!" I shriek, I fall forward propping my hand next to his head. Which saves me from falling onto him. My hair acts as a curtain covering our faces, making us realise how close we are to each other.

The look in his eyes seemed to shift for a split second and they looked softer but that look was gone as soon as it came. My core squeezes around him, and our position changes. He is now on top of me. My moans become louder as he is reaching deeper and is going faster. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

My hands reach around to his back, pulling him into me. I claw at his back. This will leave a mark. I push my face into his neck. I run my teeth gently nipping along his skin, smiling at the reaction he gives him. His pace continues to quicken but the movements are getting sloppy and unmatched to my body. He is coming undone and I can't lie, neither am I. His voice is getting louder.

"Shit. Gaara, I am going to cum." I whimper into his ear.

"I know baby, keep going. Hold on for me a little longer." He replies, his voice harsh.

He repositions himself. Holding one of my legs up. His other arm was pinned next to my face holding him up and his head fell into my chest for a few seconds. He keeps going and that knot in my stomach is tightening but also threatening to come loose. I can feel him losing it as well. It is a satisfying feeling knowing that I still have this control over him.

I squeeze my eyes shut, there are stars clouding my black vision. The knot snaps at the same time he does. Shit... he rides the wave out through me. Another few seconds and he slows down.

He collapses onto my body like a dead weight. My body is too exhausted to get up, or even think about what had just happened. I believe Gaara is the same I can hear as he has already passed out lying on my chest. His body wrapped around mine, so even if I did want to move I couldn't. So I just let the exhaustion overtake me and allow myself to feel comforted in his arms, even though I know tomorrow will hurt emotionally more than my body will feel.

The morning light shining through the curtains and the soft noise of birds chirping brings me slowly awake. I am painfully aware of the situation, as my body hurts and there is not a single movement in the tiny little hotel room that hints towards a certain redheaded boy being in the room. I run my hands through my hair and place them on my face. I just scream into them, so absolutely done with this situation I am in.

God.

Maybe. If only. I didn't take that mission. I wouldn't have been attacked by the Akatsuki. I wouldn't have nearly died and I would still have my chakra, and I would still be one of the sand's best ninjas. Meaning I wouldn't have ended up living with the sand siblings, and I wouldn't have been the Kazekage's assistant and I wouldn't have come anywhere near Gaara. None of this would have happened. And I would still hate him. But not the hate I am feeling now. Just the normal, simple hate.

A single tear falls down my face. However, at the same time, I would have missed so much. I wouldn't be as close with the leaf ninja and I wouldn't have met so many people. I also wouldn't have learnt and grown.

I pull myself up off the bed. I have to push this aside and do my job. I can't be fucking crying over a boy when I am trying to help push the fate of my home village.

Breathe y/n. You are the baddest bitch.