A dead rabbit lays in the isolation of the cold, under barren trees on a bed of brown leaves. This is my American Dream. I break off its foot for a little extra luck on the PowerBall. You can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.
The ad at the bottom of the TV says text INVADE to 500-500 for a little foreign oil in your balsamic vinaigrette. The early bird catches the grenade. But wait! Buy now and get a free colonoscopy with five simple payments of $19.99.
A fox approaches with teeth bared. I kick it for a field goal and the crowd goes wild. GO PATRIOTS! I'm a hero for a moment, a real veteran, punting balls like dropping bombs
on a squirrel's little head — explodes and paints the trees red. I spent $104,000.53 on a psychology degree to tell me red makes people hungry. Drives purchases. The adjuncts poke their heads out of their burrows, "you know, the tenuous line between McDonald's and the Soviet Union is merely a matter of logo design."
God bless the sickly and hammered. Those golden arches that crown the gates to heaven now come with metal detectors. I know you only AR 15, but remember: it's run, hide, then fight. The hunters have their permits; this is your problem now.
Have you ever held a disembodied foot? I see my classmates huddle behind the trenches of their textbooks, scurrying like rabbits. There's no time to be exhausted; keep your friend's limb for a little extra luck next time.
