The World Spinning Round (Beatles/Paul McCartney)

2. Transcendental Medidrama

April 1968

A fast and erratic beat had been pounding in Paul's head since he'd awakened. It was like an irregular heartbeat or a butterfly flapping its wings to escape a jar. It wasn't melodic, it wasn't groovy, it was a fucking earworm that was slowly driving him mad.

Thump thump thumpety thump. Thumpety thump thump thump.

He lay in bed for an hour, pretending he didn't know why his brain felt like it was about to explode. It wasn't anticipatory anxiety; that would be foolish. What a load of psychobabble, that.

Finally, he hoisted himself up and walked to peek out of the window to see the gate birds milling about below. Then he opened the curtains halfway and sat in a pool of morning light, his legs crossed and his hands resting atop his knees. His palms were facing upward, which was supposed to heal the chakras and ground the soul. And if anyone needed some grounding energy, it was Paul McCartney.

He repeated his mantra in a low voice and tried to empty his mind:  let it out, let it in. He'd gotten slightly better in India at stopping the internal chatter, but he was still pretty shit at it. The thumping in his head was bloody distracting, and his fingers couldn't help but tap along, which probably meant that his chakras wouldn't heal and his soul would continue to float around totally adrift.

Finally, he gave up and wandered downstairs, where Clementine was eating a late breakfast in her dressing gown. Her dark hair was piled atop her head and secured with a turquoise scarf. He knew everyone took the piss about how she looked like Alice, but they were totally different. Clem's lips were a bit thinner, her hips a bit fuller. She had a very studied posh accent, whereas Alice had spent ages actively trying to shed hers. Most importantly, she really tried for everything in life, whereas Alice never seemed to have to.

He absent-mindedly kissed the top of her head as he walked into the dining room and sat down. He didn't say anything, just watched her eat her avocado with sprouted grain bread while his fingers tapped a nervy beat on the table. She finally broke the silence, looking pointedly at his hands.

"It's distracting? You should try your mantra?"

Clementine had a way of ending every sentence with an upwards intonation, constantly making Paul wonder if she was making a statement or asking a question. When they'd first met, it had seemed slightly beguiling, like he never knew where he stood. After a while, though, he just wanted to hear a declarative sentence every so often.

"I tried my mantra," he replied irritably before remembering what the Maharishi always said. Love arises from a full heart. So, with a sigh, he softened his tone.

"I'm just tired, is all."

He wandered into the living room and headed straight to the cabinet that Donovan had given him. He pulled out at least 6 or 7 drawers until he found the one that contained the grass and the rolling papers. Staring at them for a moment, he debated if he should ask Clem to roll him a joint. But even that seemed too much effort, so he finally did it himself. It was sloppily done and would fall apart mid-way, but it was better than nothing.

"Do you want me to come with you today?" Clementine asked. Paul didn't reply at first, mainly because it was difficult to sort out her words through the truly insane thumping in his head.

"No, no," he replied. John couldn't be trusted around her. He relentlessly tried to provoke her, and most of it went straight over her head, which, Paul presumed, was why John bothered with it in the first place.

Clementine shrugged and went back to her breakfast. He wondered what she saw in him. He was a miserable sod most of the time, and she'd have to be a blind fool not to know that he was seeing several other girls on the side. So, maybe she was just in it for the sex or the cachet of being with Beatle Paul or the fact that her career had skyrocketed ever since they got together. Whatever the reason, Paul was okay with it because she was uncomplicated and her blowjobs were exquisite.