HARD TO LOVE

1. Is it true?

So. I'm 14 years old girl from South Korea. I want to became a k-pop -idol. Now it is December, and in January I will be 15 years old, yay! My name is Hwang Ji-Soo, I know it's hard to pronounce, but I kind of love my name. It's unique and pretty. Common name in Korea. Usually all people who live in Korea, they have last name like Kim, Park, Hwang, Lee or Chou. I would say that 90% of Korean last names are Kim. But it's okay to be Kim, I'm just saying that your last name is VERY common.  

     In last month, I finally auditioned to Strawberry Entertainment. I sang a song, it was Loco by Itzy. I love Itzy's music, and in future, I want to do same type of music what they do. And their dances, they are so cool! If you ask my bias (favourite member of the group) from Itzy, I think it's Lia, she's good in vocals like me too. Her dance is maybe not as good as other members, but it really doesn't matter, she's perfect in my eyes. 

    I was so scared of auditioning before I did it. That's the reason why I didn't audition right away when I knew that I want to be idol. But in 12th of November, I did. Now I'm waiting for the result, did I pass the audition or not. If yes, I have to move to Seoul, because at this moment, we live in Busan. And I have to be ready for training singing, rapping, dancing, Korean language and my body. Why I have to learn Korean language even though my family lives in Korea, is that I need to sing and talk Korean very fluently and sharply if I am gonna debut as k-pop -idol. 

  If I don't pass the audition, it means that I have to practice singing more and I'm not good enough to be a trainee. I will cry a lot if that happens. I just think that I have practiced singing as much I need to and maybe can be a part of talented trainees in Strawberry Entertainment. My mom says that there are many people who wants to be trainee, but I think I have quite good possibilities to pass the audition. Mom is always worried about my doings and literally everything! Her name is Hwang Yu-Na and she's married with my dad, Hwang Ji-Min. He is a caring father who always buys little chocolate bars from supermarket for me (I love chocolate). 

    It's Wednesday, and I've gotten a new mail. What is it? I'm slowly opening my mail. Soon I see a mail, which is sent by... Strawberry Entertainment! It starts with some interesting words; "Hi, Hwang Ji-Soo. Thank you for auditioning...". Written in Korean language, so I'm translating it to English. I decide to click the mail open, 'cause I really want to know, what they say about my audition. And I'm gonna translate the whole message to you, so here: 

   "Hi, Hwang Ji-Soo. Thank you for auditioning to our entertainment, we appreciate it. So, we have heard your audition, the song was Loco by Itzy? We have to say that your voice is different from others, in a good way. I loved your voice, and many other people who work here, liked it too. That means you have successfully passed the audition, and you are very welcome to come a part of our trainees! Our first trainee meet is on December 19th, now it's 15th day so you have four days to get ready to our meet! Things you have to take with you to this meet are your phone and happy mind! See you soon. Make sure you will check our social medias too. Sent by: Strawberry Entertainment, South Korea, Busan."

   Is it true, that I passed the audition? What did I just read? Am I in heaven? Anyways, I need to tell to my mom and dad. And of course to my best friend, Park Yu-Jin, who always loves to hear things that have happened to me. But I still can't believe this! I'm a trainee now!

    - Yu-Na, Ji-Min! Mom, dad! I have to tell you something, I say in high voice while jumping from my room to living room. We talk in Korean at home so translating it again.                                                    - What, honey? Tell us right now, mom says with excited look.                                                                          - I passed the audition, I'm a trainee now! Believe or not!                                                                                    - No, you must be joking, my little girl Ji-Soo. Right? My dad answers.                                                          - I'm not joking, dad! You should take serious all the things I say. And please, don't call me "your little girl", you know that I hate when you say it, I say and then a little silence comes around us.                                                                                                                                                                                      - Okay, okay. So you are serious with these news you got? Dad asks.                                                            - Yes, I am. Just trust me, I shout and leave back to my room. 

     I really HATE it, when my dad calls me like that what he did on that conversation. My little girl. He used to call me like that, when I was on 1th grade. But on 4th grade, I said it was time to him to stop saying it. Now he has improved with it, if we don't count some random times he hasn't improved... at all. From now on, I just need to focus on my project, to this trainee thing. I don't want my family to ruin my dreams again. And why I say "again", I mean it. They have broken my dreams before too, so I'm making sure it will not happen' twice. Okay, I was at 3th grade at that time. I loved acting (loved it too much, now I don't) and I wanted to be on acting club, which was 100€ per year. My parents just lightly said that they couldn't pay that much for it. I cried, cried and cried. Even chocolate bars didn't help to my sadness. Not at all actually. After two weeks of crying, being mad and not going to anywhere, I realized that I needed to understand that I was not gonna get my dream and crying wouldn't help to that. It's not happening again. No. 

 Today is finally 19th day of December and trainee meet is today! Last three days went fast and now I'm hyped up! Hopefully there are nice trainees and I will got new friends. But most important is that I feel comfortable with them, I do not want to feel awkward. It's time to leave from home to Busan! Strawberry Entertainment, see you soon!

Read next, what happens to Hwang Ji-Soo at Strawberry Entertainment's trainee meeting room and what is going to follow this chapter, it will be something you don't believe......