Misunderstanding (Jinkook/kookjin)

Or coming undone

"What happened at the building!?" Namjoon asks me after we've fed and put the kids down for a nap

"I don't know where to begin Jonnie" I sigh and I feel the tears coming

"I think I have a clue, it's Tae's dad? That's who you went up to see?"

"Joonie, how-? How did you figure it out so quickly??" I say as the tears begin to stream down my face

"I met him Jin, he's the CEO. I only saw him for a minute he ran out of the conference room pretty quick but I got to look at him and let me tell you, him and Tae look identical"

I sob, I know my dream family would never happen. I knew that I wouldn't come back to know Jungkook has been looking for me wants to apologise and be with me again, that was only ever wishful thinking.

"Joon, now that you'll work there you can never tell him about Tae" I plead

"Why Jin, that little boy deserves to know who his father is, I know he left you and trust me I have so much resentment for that idiot but after loosing my own Tae, I feel like even he would've agreed with me on this"

"I get you Nam but you don't get where I'm coming from"

"Jin, Taehyung was taken from Soobin, he didn't choose to leave him and it breaks my heart to know that no matter how much I search Soobin will never see his Appa again but Tae still has the chance to ge to know Jungkook"

"Joon, he's having a baby with the pink hair guy! He's building his own family where he will not have any space for my Tae"

"Jin, I get how angry you are but you should tell him anyway. You don't want to take the chance of Tae hating you later on when he finds Jungkook on his own. Also, do you think that's why he's the CEO of PJ industries because he has a relationship with Mr. Park's son??"

"I don't know, I didn't even know Jimin was a Park or that his father was the owner of the company"

This is all so confusing, had Jungkook plan this all along? To just leave me because he had already found someone else, more specifically someone rich he could build a life with??

"Listen Joon, this is another reason why we can't tell Jungkook. What if they try to fire you as they think you're trying to ruin Jungkook and Jimin's relationship?"

"Jinnie, they cannot do that I'm under a contract and if they did, they would owe me a large sum of money that we could live of off until I found another job. If you want, I will talk to Jungkook. Get his thoughts on what would happen if he had a kid he doesn't know about"

"I wonder if he still speaks with Yoongi hyung, he was Jungkook's best friend and I considered him a great friend too, he flew out of the country when I went looking for Jungkook, they said he was in Spain, his older brother was gettting married. If he was in Seoul maybe he would've helped me find Jungkook"

"If you mean Min Yoongi then yes they still speak, Mr. Min is the COO"

"What? If Jungkook told him what happened, why didn't Yoongi look for me? At least to hear my side of the story? I guess we where never really friends" I cry again, it feels like all I've been doing since we came back is cry

"Maybe you can start by talking to Mr. Min, tell him everything and since him and Jungkook are friends he'll be able to tell you exactly what Jungkook might feel"

"I think I would find it easier to speak with hyung, he could probably be the messenger but I would want you there Joonie"

"Of course Jinnie, I'll be with you the whole time and about Jungkook having a family, remember he's your mate, he won't be able to mark another since you're pretty much alive so his opportunity to have a second mate isn't granted yet. So don't worry too much"

"What if he tries? What if he just gives Jimin a temporary mark over and over again? Will I die of pain Joonie?"

"Jinnie, no! Don't think like that, we have to talk to Mr. Min,  maybe he can help you reject Jungkook before he and Jimin try to mate?"

"Why does loving someone hurt so much Joon!?"I say trying to wipe my tears away

"Because being loved by someone outweighs the pain you're feeling right now"

As namjoons words repeat in my head I can't help but think of all the times I felt loved by Jungkook, I was the happiest by his side. I was on cloud nine dizzy with love when he marked me, in a complete love haze where I could see my self growing old with him. When the love haze disappear after a couple minutes so did Jungkook and he took my part of my heart with him. He left me so broken, every time I saw his mark I died all over again, I felt my will to live slowly slipping away until I found out I was carrying our pup.

He not only left me but our unborn pup as well and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him for abandoning us both.

No matter how much I still love him the hurt will out-weight my love for him.

"Jinnie everything will work out, you've been the best Appa for Tae, no matter what you've already won by having Tae. He's all you'll ever need right?"

"Yes, 100%. Thank you Joonie for being by my side. Taehyung was the happiest with you, I'm so glad he had someone who loved him unconditionally" 

Unlike me, I wanted to say but I chose to keep those words to myself.