My beloved | A reality shifting story

Chapter Seven | Scared

Swiss stopped breathing entirely, as he just blankly stared at me. On his face was a frown. 

Tears welled in my eyes, blurring and distorting my vision. I lowered my head, avoiding his golden gaze. I heard him exhale shakily. Did I blow all my chances with him? Did he hate me now? Should I change myself for him? It wouldn't be the first time I changed myself for someone I loved. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you." I said, getting up and walking to the door just as the tears began falling. A hand was placed on my shoulder, keeping me from leaving. I turned back around to face him, but still I didn't look him in the eyes. He placed a finger under my chin, forcing our eyes to meet. "Not that it matters, but what do you identify as then?" Swiss's voice was soft and comforting, not scary or rough like I thought it'd be. "..Genderfluid." He smiled softly. Suddenly it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my back, and I could breathe easier. 

"You know I would've accepted you no matter what you said right?" Swiss gently lifted my mask and wiped away my tears. I nodded, even though I was unsure whether he would've accepted me. He pulled me into a hug. The embrace felt refreshing and calming, like it was something I'd needed for a while. 

After the embrace ended, I informed Swiss that I had to tell the others and promptly left his room, going to the Ghoul's Lounge. I assumed that everyone was there, as it was one of the few rooms that was big enough to comfortably have them all in. I adjusted my mask, gathered my thoughts, and entered the room. I sat down on the couch, sitting beside Rain. I exhaled. I couldn't do this. There were too many people..too many possible outcomes! I became overwhelmed, and mindlessly rushed out of the room. I couldn't go crawling back to Swiss..I'd look like a wimp. Right? So I fled to my room, accidentally slamming my door behind me. I paced around my room, trying to calm my anxious thoughts. 

I sat down at my desk, and started to doodle in my notebook. I didn't draw anything in particular, I just needed something to keep my hands busy. My mind drifted, new thoughts arriving every second. Was that even possible? Was it normal to have your mind racing as severely as mine was? Sharp and frantic knocks brought me out of my mind, but it didn't calm my thoughts. "Come in?" My voice wavered, and was far from sounding confident. In came Dewdrop. "Hey. You okay?" His tone was far from the 'teasing voice' as I liked to call it. He sounded genuinely worried about me. I turned to look at him, seeing how he carried himself. Dew stood, carrying himself confidently. But his hands were behind his back. Was he hiding something? Or was he simply restraining himself? "Fine." I responded simply, voice monotone. I had learned a lot about how to read people like a book and how to pry them out of their shells back in my CR. I was using one of my many tactics to find his hidden intentions. "Are you sure? You left the lounge pretty quickly, and you slammed your door...you know you can talk to me, right?" Dew edged closer, reaching a hand out to me. And his hand cupped my masked cheek, forcing me to look him in the eyes. 

I knew exactly what he was doing. He knew it too. All I could do was stare up at him with helpless eyes. Most of the time I felt helpless. I knew he wanted to kiss me. I knew that he'd wanted to kiss me since the day we met. He wanted me. But in this reality, I'm loyal to Swiss. Maybe one day when I go to my other Ghost DRs he can have me..but I am Swiss's. Maybe not officially yet, but I knew it in my heart. 

But every human makes mistakes. 

Every human slips up once in a while. Its your choice to make sure you don't slip up again. 

Dew leaned in closer, and put his hand on the back of my head. And then he kissed me. I didn't resist, and I didn't pull away. His lips were soft, and passionate. I knew that he had waited for this moment for a little while. When Dew pulled away, my breath was caught in my throat. I just kissed one of my best friends. 

Dew stepped back, and simply smirked at me. "Out." I said firmly, not letting the fact that I was flustered as shit make my voice sound all weird. He pouted like a child and tilted his head. "Aw why?"

"Dewdrop get out!" I snapped, raising my voice. He got the memo quickly, and rushed out. 

I sighed, took off my mask and dropped it harshly. I then flopped onto my bed and contemplated what just happened.