When I was just a child back then, I remember dreaming about how I am gonna look like when I enter the adult life...
I picture myself wearing a dark brown coat with a black turtle neck long sleeves inside of it. I know my long black hair will be on a messy bun style because I always unconsciously style my hair like that when I was busy doing something. I probably would pair my coat and turtle neck with a simple black high waist jeans and of course with a simple skin tone heels.
I'll leave at work at 5 pm then I'll call my mom while walking in a busy street to ask what will I buy to the market before I go home.
On my day off I will lay on our sofa while watching TV and put my bowl on my stomach, so I can eat while laying my back. I'll probably enjoy doing just like that.
But maybe that is not a kind of life I'll never have- or maybe it's not for me.
Right now I was on my laptop working in a graveyard shift looking so shitty on my room. Working at home, wearing a comfortable shirt and short and not minding what I look like once I sit on my office chair. I work 10 hours per shift then quickly log out, then tack myself on my bed till my alarm rang for another shift at work, again and again till I hit my day off then sleep again for two days then go work again after that.
Yes, it is not a good story to share and honestly, not inspiring to write about but you know I still wrote it.
It was kind of messy and ugly, I never thought that it is gonna look like this. I thought I will be more happier once I became an adult..
but maybe living my life at 23 was about being ugly and messy. You dream beautifully, the process was dramatic and the journey was kind of dark but exciting. I am still in the process of finding what I like and what was for me but I think I made a little progress and that is what matter right now.
after all it is what it is. I just have to enjoy the journey. see you after a year.
