All My Stars

11 (m)

The nightlight provides just enough light for me to feel safe but I still move closer to Natsumi who is all too happy to wrap her arm around my waist, drawing us closer together in the process.

She plays with my hair, her eyes following the movement of her hand.

"So about that thing I told you about me not speaking much sometimes" She starts softly.

" I get annoyed pretty easily with sounds, Like with crowds how everyone's having a different conversation or even just loud noises when it's quiet. It also extends to me and other people,  for me it's like I have to force myself sometimes and it makes me irrationally annoyed" She finishes, staring up at the ceiling now.

It's quiet for a while as I think.

" Does anything else make you feel that way?"

She laughs briefly.

"Couple other things, yeah"

" Okay"

" It might be weird for a while as I adjust but we'll make it work"

I have to remind myself that it isn't my place and that I haven't known her long enough to say exactly what I'm thinking at that moment. My stomach sinks with the weight of my worry.

"You okay?"

" Yeah fine, if I'm ever overwhelming you just tell me, please"

She looks at me and sees the seriousness on my face that's a front for my plea and nods.

"Yeah, alright"

I turn to lie on my back and end up staring up into the mirror on the ceiling. The room is dark but I can still make out the outline of us together, And maybe I was possessed at that moment because it's the only explanation I can come up with for my question.

"what's the mirror for, really?"

Her soft laughter tickles my ears.

"Well aren't you curious" I can just about see the smirk she wears.

"yes" I state matter of factly, " I am"

" The mirror's for me, I like to watch myself"  She admits it so casually, I'm almost embarrassed at the blush that rises on my cheeks.  

" I've never brought anyone into our bed" The seriousness in her tone has me looking over at her beside me.

"Oh" Sometimes, the way Natsumi makes me speechless has me feeling like attending school was a waste of time since I turn dumb around her.

" You're blushing" She's teasing me again.

" Shut up" My reply is a measly attempt to deflect.

" Have you ever tried?" 

" Tried what?" I ask innocently and she rolls her eyes in amusement.

" Watching as you please yourself' There's no room for misinterpretation, no bullshitting.

"I've never-"

Frustration fills me before I can finish my sentence

"You've never what? " Natsumi drawls out, watching me with hooded eyes.

"Pleasured myself" I almost want to die after saying it out loud. My hands cover my face as I ramble on hopelessly. 

" I've been pretty sheltered my whole life, my parents never allowed me to date or anything and I guess I never really thought to try"

" Wait, you're serious?" She raises up onto her elbow to gauge my facial expression.

I nod shamefully.

"Well you know what they say, no better time than the present"

"Wait what?" 

"Trust me, you trust me?"

"Yeah" 

"Take your pants off"

I hesitate but only for a second before I do as she says and then climb back under the covers. Silently, she watches me. Natsumi looms over me, resting her weight on her elbow.

She swoops down, pressing her lips against my ear.

"Relax" she whispers lowly.

Her hand covers mine and I watch as they disappear under the sheets.

She watches me, the way my breaths grow shallow. It's predatory.

Somewhere deep inside my brain, I'm aware of the fact that we're doing things out of order but I can't stop this, not now.

"Like this" She instructs casually, as if she were teaching me how to do something as trivial as riding a bike.

" You can go in circles" She shows me how.

" Or you can go up and down" Natsumi kisses the spot below my ear which has my toes curling.

" Just like that, you got it" She praises softly, her hand is a heavy weight on mine as she guides me.

I can't handle the way she's gazing down at me so I push my face into her neck, panting softly.

"No" She moves away briefly, "Look at yourself"

My reflection stares back at me and it's almost too much. My whole body is flushed, back arching off the bed and face contorted in pleasure.

"Hmmm, you're wet" She muses, as if a 19-year-old virgin is supposed to have more self-control.

A whine breaks free from my throat, a protest without conviction.

"You're not supposed to touch me before the wedding"

" I'm not touching you" She denies, "You are".

****

Hey you, yes you. Did you skip chapters to get here? 

You don't have to tell me, I'll find out.

 ♪ Remember the lord is watching youuuu ♪