Differing wants (yet same needs)

The never ending cycle

Obama wakes up with a pounding headache and rubs his eyes. He sat up and looked around the room, the hotel lights burning his eyes, all he could smell was alcohol. He turned to the side and saw crumpled bedsheets along with some dry sperm. There was no sign of anyone being there and yet he felt like he was still next to him, Sonic. That night was filled with infatuation and affection all for it just to be swept under the rug the next morning as if it never happened.

Ever since high school ended something changed between them, they no longer had a loving compassionate relationship. The constant back and forth, the constant screaming, the constant crying. Obama was sick of the push and pull and just wanted this old lover back the old Sonic. Sometimes Obama wished Sonic never went to study abroad, he knew it was selfish but who could blame him? 

He wanted Sonic to be a stay-at-home dad while he followed his dream to be a lawyer. Maybe even more all while they stayed in their tiny hometown, he dreamed about raising their kids together and being that perfect suburban family down the street. But Sonic didnt want any of that he wanted to explore and travel all around the world, he dreamed of meeting new people and trying new things. Seeing things he never thought were possible. 

Sonic loved Obama deeply but he knew they could never last, not the way they are now at least; they wanted two completely different things out of life. As much as it hurt Sonic distanced himself from Obama, over time building an emotional barrier blocking out any attempts Obama made to communicate with him.

Sonic knew he was hurting Obama, but he felt so free without him. He knew that he had to break it off but he didnt want to just yet. Sonic wanted to wait a little bit longer with Obama before he would become a fading memory in the back of Obama’s mind. With that thought, Sonic unlocked his phone and texted Obama “Hey you up?” 

Once again Obama woke up with a pounding headache while rubbing his eyes he heard soft thrashing next to him. As he slowly turns his head he sees Sonic sitting up drinking water and rubbing his head. “Sonic?” “Sorry if I woke you I was just leaving.” “Wait, before you go can we cuddle? We havent done it in a while” “Just for a little bit.”

As Sonic curled into Obama’s chest, Obama closed his eyes wishing this moment would last forever. So he could hold Sonic and never let him go, as much as he hated to admit it he felt so lost when Sonic wasn't around. Everything Obama did was for the future he wanted, he always wanted to be happy and fulfilled. Since he struggled to live in the moment.

Sonic, on the other hand, he felt guilty that he always did this, one minute his neglecting his lover, and the next hes in bed with him. He just wanted a fling but Obama always wanted more. Sonic knew this and still choose to play with his feelings. At times he felt disgusted with himself. Sonic was Obama’s first for everything, first date, first kiss, first boyfriend, he remembered when he met Obama's parents it all felt so wrong.

Sonic knew he never wanted any of this, Obama told him everything about his hopes and dreams and his perfect future everything he strived for, and how he wanted to find someone and take care of them for the rest of his life. How he wanted his first to be his high school sweetheart and how he would ask to marry them. He knew he was just stringing him along but he doesn't know how long he could keep doing this to him.

Sonic knows he will never be what Obama wants him to be, yet he still chooses to lead him on. He chooses to lie to Obama and tell him he wants everything he wants, he also wants to be that perfect suburban family down the street. All because he wanted Obama’s body he wanted to feel him in ways no one did, and now that he did hes ready to move on.

But now hes scared to ditch him, after everything they did together? Sonic can't handle the thought of Obama crying and asking him why he did this, why he used him when he knew he wanted to save it for his husband. Why did he promise to marry him after college? Finally Sonic heard Obama snoring, as Sonic pulled away from him he whispered a light sorry and then left Obama’s apartment. Once Sonic closed the door he ran as fast as he could back to his dorm hoping no one saw him leave Obama’s apartment.