Stars, Hide Your Fires [Peterick]

Now Let Me At The Truth, Which Will Refresh My Broken Mind

(A/N: Some self harm and triggers in this chapter.)

Pete

I silently cried in pain as I dragged the blade across my wrist. The crimson ribbons and crimson tears flowed down my arm as I bit my lip, holding in a pained cry.

I was strong, I was bold. I had friends and a new roommate. Yesterday. I was strong and bold and loved yesterday, not today. Today I was lost and alone inside the depths of my fragile soul.

But that's what depression is. It haunts your every waking hour, hiding in the shadows while you live in the light. But you can only live in the light for so long before you are pulled into depression's shadows.

And that's where I am.

The memories of when I was bold and strong and waiting for the world to come along flashed in my mind as I dropped the blade, letting it slip from my fingers.

I wrapped a bloodied towel around my arm before cleaning up the blood, the crimson ribbons stopped flowing, but my tears and cries of pain didn't end.

I tried to gather my composure and rolled down my sleeve before rising up off the bathroom floor and exiting quietly, trying not to wake Patrick.

I continued to take a few steps before tripping over something on the floor, which sent me falling to the ground.

Patrick

I woke up to the sound of someone  the bathroom before tripping on something. I opened my eyes slowly and sat up, the morning sun shining through the curtains in small streams that seemed to blind me as my eyes adjusted to see Pete rising from the floor.

"Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He stammered, pulling up his pajama pants.

"It's okay. I probably needed to get up anyways." I smiled at him, scanning his figure. A red splotch spread along his sleeve. "Pete, what happened to your arm?"I said, pointing to his sleeve.

He immediately looked at me with wide eyes and placed his hand quickly on the spot and stammered something incoherent. "It's nothing, really. I just cut myself with the razor while shaving myself. I dropped the razor and it knicked my arm. It's just a knick."

I shifted as I looked at him with pleading and concerned eyes. I peeled the blankets off of me and made my way towards him.

"Let me see your arm, Pete." I spoke softly, trying not to startle him as I held my hand out.

He looked at me with pure sorrow, blinking away tears that ended up sitting on his eyelashes. "Please, Patrick. It's just a knick, I promise." He choked.

"Pete, please let me see your arm. I can't help if you don't let me." I held my hand out, curling and uncurling my fingers.

After a few seconds of blinking away tears and fears, Pete placed his redend sleeve in my hand, a few whimpers escaping from his mouth.

I gripped his wrist lightly and pulled up his sleeve as cleanly and carefully as I could, trying not to harm him any further than he already was.

His sleeve was finally rolled up, unveiling the streaks and lines of red that spread across his wrist, cuts that he had inflicted upon himself.

I frowned to myself as I looked up at Pete, witnessing for the first time, the seemingly happy and bright boy's vulnerability.

"Come on, let's get these cleaned up." I said softly, pulling Pete into the bathroom and pulling a first aid kit from under the sink.

I carefully took his injured wrist and put it under the running water that ran through the faucet.

"Ahh. Shit, Patrick." Pete cried out, trying to release himself from my grip.

"I know it hurts, Pete, but you gotta trust me to help you." I said, holding his arms under the water until the water stopped running red.

I gave him a reassuring smile as I carefully cleaned and bandaged the individual cuts on his arm before having him take off his shirt and cleaning out the blood.

"You know you didn't have to do this." Pete said, rubbing his injured arm.

"Yes, I did. If I hadn't of done what I did to get to this point, you would've gone into self-driven insanity. And that is not where you belong."

He smiled at me, not a fake smile, but a genuine smile. "Thank you, Patrick, for everything."

Pete

"Thank you, Patrick, for everything." I smiled at him as he rested a loving hand on my shoulder.

"You're welcome. Pete, if you ever need something, anything, just don't be afraid to ask." He smiled at me.

"Really, thank you. No one's ever helped me like this before." I did something I wasn't expecting to do, I hugged him tightly, before tears started springing from my eyes and wetting his shirt.

I had met this boy only yesterday, and he's already affecting parts of my life, infecting the dark corners of my world with hope and compassion. I had met this boy only yesterday, and he was helping me, hugging me. And he obviously wasn't going to let me slip away as if I was nothing.

He wasn't going to let me slip away.

I wasn't going to slip away.

I am not going to slip away, not yet.