Welcome to my World

The story begins....finally

There isn't much I remember from my childhood and most of what I do isn't good but when I think back on it now I see myself from a new perspective, one I hadn't really seen until recently. I'll be straight and to the point but ask for no pity. I was abused as a child and most of the memories I can actually recall are of just that. Only a few hold a special place in my mind palace but even the bad ones I see differently now. Maybe because I just turned thirty and am having a mid life crisis so to speak, whatever the reason, I no longer see the pain and betrayal but the strength I must have had to make it through the shit I did... it also makes me wonder: what the FUCK happened...?

Maybe I'm jumping ahead.

I was born to parents that were and are extremely selfish, for extremely different reasons. My mother was born to the daughter of an eccentric land mogul (my gma) and a laid back navy man from simple means (my gpa). Yeah imagine that one for a moment. I used to say that my gma had her purse strings attached to her anus so if you mentioned money around her she could cinch her purse and asshole with one swift motion! My father, on the other hand, was born to a poor, crazy, alcoholic from the wrong side of the tracks (my gma) and a Native American (my gpa). So yah my mom is messed in the head and has fucked up priorities and my dad was messed in the head and an alcoholic. They were married for five years but were only together for the first year of that. You might think Thank God for that! but you also might want to hold off on that judgment. I know if I knew what I know now, I would have rather they stayed together and no, not because thats what every divorced kids wants. I just would have preferred an alcoholic father to a cross-dressing, wanna-be transvestite step-father any day but hold on, now I know I'm jumping ahead.

My mother and father split when I was one and I didn't get to meet my father again until I was eight. In the meantime my mother ran through men so quickly that I'm still meeting men that are like "Oooh you're Janice's daughter!" That is until she met Dean aka IT. Apparently, a man that dresses in her clothes wasn't a turn off and they got married. Being only about three at the time, I was oblivious to the behind the scenes make-up of their marriage.