blue jeans | dotae

6

11 pm. The forest. 15th March 2019

"Of course there were other people in the past" Taeyong whispered as the chilly March wind ruffled his baby pink hair "As much as I wish I could hide my past, I can't. Even if I could erase the past, I would be erasing myself too because without the past we're nothing. It's our experiences that shape us into the people we are today. Everything happens for a reason"

Taeyong and Doyoung were in the woods. They were both feeling considerably down today and decided they wanted to escape society even if it was only until sun rose. The taller was seated on the ground, with his broad back against a tree and the smaller laid on the ground with his head on Doyoung's lap.

"But there was this one" Taeyong continued thoughtfully, eyes showcasing pain and regret "He was the one. Kim Haneul. We were in love. Crazy, head over heels for each other. But I was scared. My whole life I had been told over and over again that what I was feeling was wrong, unnatural. But Haneul, he was brave. Brave enough for the both of us."

"We ran away together and we didn't go back" the boy sniffled with sadness, doe eyes filling with tears "We were happy together for a while. We stopped going to school, somehow got a place of our own. Haneul looked older than he was. He was strong and clever so he managed to get a job. But things went wrong, I got ill and we needed money. He got involved with the wrong people, he was so desperate to make the cash"

"Once he was in, he couldn't get back out" Taeyong began to cry and Doyoung pulled him up into his arms, rubbing his back in comforting circles "He tried so hard to leave. Circumstances matured him before his time, but at heart he was still a scared boy. He promised he would sort everything out. He left on Sunday morning, said he'd be home Monday. B-but he never came home. I didn't see him again. Then a couple of days later, I found out h-he was dead. Dead! It was all my fault. My entire world fell apart"

Now Doyoung understood so many things. The reason for Taeyong's stick thin legs, pale almost translucent skin, his lack of energy and need for constant piggy backs. But also other things. The reason he was mad, sad, bad and in such a desperate need for love.

"When he died, I died too" Taeyong sobbed softly into the tallers neck "I felt like a ghost walking among the living. I tried to end it all and that's when it happened. I was unconscious and he came to me. Talked to me, hugged me, kissed me. Told me he was sorry and that what I was doing was wrong. That I had to live a good life now, for the both of us. So I tried. I came here, enrolled in school. And then I met you. You taught me how to love again, you turned my world from grey to technicolor and I couldn't be more grateful"

"And I'm scared, Doyoung" the smaller looked up, eyes sparkling "Because I know I've fallen in love with you"

"I'm in love with you too, fairy boy" Doyoung laughed, before sniffling as his eyes grew wet with tears "I'm so in love with you" 

"Don't leave me then"

"I won't, I won't" the taller pressed his lips to Taeyong's in a sweet soft kiss "There, we kissed on it. We can't leave each other now okay? Together forever?"

"Together forever"