Touching Shadows

Writing off the weekend

AUDREY

I swing into my driveway and park. Getting out quickly, I march up the steps, a woman on a mission to wipe herself out. I slam the bottle on the kitchen bench and crack it open, drinking straight from the neck. It burns as it goes down.

15 minutes later, Jemima lets herself in, whiskey and tequila in hand. I'm waiting on the couch, working my way through this bottle and wondering where my life went so off-track.

"I didn't know what you had".

"As long as it's alcoholic, it will do!"

Jem walks straight to the couch and joins me, tucking her feet up underneath herself. She raises one eyebrow, silently questioning why she's been summoned, and why I'm clinging to my vodka bottle like someone is going to come and confiscate it.

"What triggered this?"

She motions vaguely in my direction.

"Jacob triggered it. That arsehole! Him and his leather-clad hooker friend".

Jems eyes almost popped out of her head.

"What the fuck are you talking about Aud? You've started cursing, which is not like you at all, and you're not making any sense! How much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough to get her image out of my head!"

I took another swig, now enjoying the burning sensation.

"Her? You're being serious? What did Jacob do?"

"Deadly serious! He was with someone..."

"But..."

Jem looked like she was trying to put a jigsaw together with pieces that just didn't fit.

"Jacob? Your Jacob? With a hooker?"

I shook my head.

"He's not my Jacob anymore!"

"You need to tell me exactly what happened!"

So I did.

I told her how I'd turned up early to surprise the man I loved. How he was acting shifty and didn't want me there. How I discovered a woman in her mid 30s laying, spread eagled, on the bed I was banned from laying on, in case I tempted Jacob. How I slapped him - here Jem let out a loud "Yes guuurl!" - and then how he tried to explain away his behaviour and then propose we get married.

She just sat for a moment, trying to get her head around it all. Then the torrent of abuse started.

"That utter fuck trumpet! What the hell did he think he was doing? Audrey! How could you, the sweetest angel to grace this earth, end up besmirched by that jizz-cocked arse badger! My god!"

She paused briefly to take a swig of my vodka.

"I knew he was a bell-end! What kind of man says no to all this" - she waves her arm up and down at me - "but then sticks his todger into a chlamydia cavern?! He's the biggest shit stain on God's toilet bowl. You deserve so much better than that giant, lying douche canoe Aud!"

She finally stopped and sucked in a deep breath.

"You finished?"

She nodded.

"Yep, pretty sure I covered it."

"Ok, good. Because I'm done too. I'm not wasting any more time on him. A year is more than enough of my life..."

I downed another mouthful as Jem whooped and punched the air.

"I can't believe he thought you still wanted to marry him? What a toss pot!"