Touching Shadows

A promise

COHEN

I double-checked the stove to make sure there were no hot embers still glowing, then grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

I locked up, then left a note for Bill in case he came looking for me.

Nice catching up again, old man. Will be back out again soon. Keep an eye out for me - won't leave it another 7 years between visits this time!
Cohen

I took one last look around, before getting in my car and following the bumpy track back to civilisation.

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AUDREY

"No, Mother. Don't even think about it!"

I'd walked into another attempted set up with another approved gentleman.

"Honey, you're not getting any younger, you know! James Clarke is a lovely young man. And so well respected. He is quite the catch"

I snorted. My mother looked at me with disgust.

"Quite the catch?! I don't care if he's the biggest blue whale on record Mum! I will not be set up with him, or any other eligible bachelor you and the church sewing ladies deem suitable for me and my aging ovaries."

"Do not talk to your mother in that disrespectful manner, Audrey!", my dad yelled from the dining table.

"I only have your best interest at heart."

I laughed loudly.

"My best interest?! Every time we talk, it's about the next best man out there! You have them all lined up, ready to go. I can't remember the last time you asked me how my job was going, or what I'd spent the weekend doing..."

"Well! Really Audrey..."

She held her hand to her chest like I'd said something highly offensive.

"Ever since things ended between you and Jacob, you have been behaving very differently. We hardly recognise you anymore. Jacob is heartbroken. His poor mother is beside herself with worry, as are we about you! He is perfect for you, and yet you let him get away, and completely change who you are and how you look overnight!"

My mother waved her hand at my outfit. I was wearing black leggings and a long sleeved jumper that was hemmed above my belly button.

"You would never be seen with your skin on show when you lived here! And Jacob would never have allowed it if you had married him like you were meant to!"

Dad piped up again. Always a 'team effort'.

"You bring shame to this family with your perverse attire. May the Lord have mercy!"

"Shame?! You don't know anything about shame!"

"How dare you!"

"No, Mother. How dare you! Your beloved Jacob, who you seem to love more than me, is the shameful one. He is no longer 'Mr Perfect', since I walked in on him fucking a scantily clad hooker."

"AUDREY!"

"No, Dad. You don't get to lecture me. I finally realise I'm worth more that than you and that arsehole made me think I was. And thank god I did before he'd put a ring on my finger! I want more than this. I deserve more then a "for-appearances-sake" marriage like you two have. I refuse to be ashamed of needing and demanding more! More respect. More happiness. More love."

I grabbed my bag and walked to the door, yanking it open. I turned back and looked once more at my shocked parents.

"And if your Almighty God doesn't understand that, then he's not the great man people make out he is!"

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I pulled up on the side of the highway, killed the engine. Opening my door, I ran out of the car and straight into a nearby field.

I raced through the waist-high grass, losing both my shoes along the way. My lungs burned as I thundered on, before falling on my knees and letting out a deafening scream. All my anger, frustration and disappointment poured out into the still night air.

My voice was hoarse, and my tears had finally dried up. I laid on my back and stared up at the wide expanse of sky. The stars were incredible.

I stared at the vast network of them above me. My breathing slows and my mind clears. I draw the clean, crisp air into my lungs and lay there in wonder, until I am shivering and exhausted.

Slowly making my way back to the car, shoes long forgotten, I take a last fdeep breath before folding myself back into the drivers seat. I pull back onto the highway and head for home.

I finally got home and dragged myself out of the car and towards my dark, silent house. I fumbled for my keys and dropped them at my feet. Swearing under my breath in frustration, I bent down to pick them up. My eye was drawn to something poking out from under the doormat.

Pulling it out, I realised it's a hand written note, and something wrapped up in beautiful dark leaves. Opening the note, I spread it out to read it under the front porch light.

Red,
I have one last thing I need to sort out. Just a little longer, and I'll come back to you.
If you'll still have me.
Cohen.

I release the breath I didn't realise I'd been holding. It felt like I was able to empty my lungs of stale air for the first time in months. He was coming back to me.

I unfolded the leaves and looked down at the necklace that fell out into my hand.

"Oh!"

A beautifully carved wooden branch, with delicate petalled flowers all along it sat in my hand. The pendant hung on a black leather cord. I studied it closely. It would have taken days of work to make. So much time and detail and craftsmanship had gone into it.

I slipped it around my neck and fastened it tightly, feeling the weight of it nestle between my breasts.

That night, despite the heartache caused by my family, I slept soundly for the first time in weeks. Lying against my heart was something I hadn't felt in a long time.

Hope.

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Oh, my heart!

I've missed our two lovers together. Hopefully not too long before you get to see them back together.

Bronwyn xx