Mother, Dearest

2

I'm stuck standing at Kyle's door, trying to convince myself that I can do this. I can ask him to take care of Satanica. All I have to do is be straight forward and ask.

I finally muster up enough courage to knock on the door. I wait a few seconds until I hear shuffling coming from inside.

Ugh fuck.

When the door opens, I'm met by Kyle. "Twyla?" Kyle asks me.

"The one and only. Twyla Mae." I smile at him.

"No way." Kyle smiles and pulls me in for a hug. "I missed you so much! Where's Satanica? Where is my niece?" Kyle looks from side to side and behind me, for my daughter.

"She's at your mom's house right now. I just got done with therapy. I'm actually here to talk to you about her. Satanica." I begin rocking back and forth on my heels. I don't know why, but I always do that whenever I get anxious. I've been doing it since I was six years old.

"What's up Twy?" Kyle pulls out a cigarette and lights it.

"I still don't understand how you can smoke those nasty things. They're so bad for you." I scrunch up my nose.

"Hey, don't start with me. I've cut back quite a bit. Just because you don't smoke anymore, doesn't mean that everyone else has to follow suit." Kyle raises his eyebrow as he takes a drag off his cigarette. "What about Satanica did you want to talk about? There can't possibly be any trouble she could've gotten into. She's only six months old." Kyle laughed to himself.

"No, of course not. At least, not yet." I smile. "I came over here to ask you if you could look after her for a day or two. The anniversary of my mother's death is in a few days, and I haven't been handling that very well. I'm also super exhausted and haven't been able to get any sleep whatsoever. I haven't been taking care of myself. My therapist recommended trying to find someone who could care for her while I took a small break." I pick at my nails while trying to avoid eye contact with him.

Kyle remained silent for what seemed like a lifetime. He grabs my face, forcing me to look at him.

"Twy, why wouldn't you come to me sooner? I would've had absolutely no problem with helping you out. I know how much Jack works. Of course, I will take her. Bring her on over here today. Pack enough clothes for a whole week. You need this time, more than anyone. Don't you dare go thinking that I think you're weak for this, either. Being a mom is tough shit. You've been doing it nonstop for six months, with no breaks. I'm impressed. Everyone needs a break now and then, even moms." Kyle smiles at me. I feel so relieved.

"Thank you, Kyle. I really appreciate you. I'll be back in a couple of hours." I say to him before walking away.

"You're letting Kyle watch her for a full week? I'm so jealous." My aunt Thalia says as she helps me pack a bag for Satanica.

"Well, I would've asked you, but your new job is so demanding of your time."

"I know, it's a pity. But it pays the bills and more beyond that. I'm happy with it." She smiles to herself.

"Thalia?"

"Yeah?"

"How are you handling the fact that my mom's death date is coming up soon?" I bite my lip after I ask her.

"I'm handling it better than I have in previous years. I just have a feeling that everything is going to be okay, you know? That she's doing okay out there. That's all I ever wanted for your mother. I wish she would've been able to get that same sort of peace while she was alive. I'm glad she was able to find it anyways." Thalia said without taking her attention away from the clothes she was folding.

"I have one more question for you. Did you know about the murders before Kyle, and I had told you?" This is something I had been wondering about for years. There is no possible way that she couldn't have known about it, or at least had been suspicious about it. They were together almost every day.

"No, I hadn't known. I'll be completely honest with you. I was absolutely floored when the two of you shared that with me. My best friend of 27 years had this whole secret double life, that I didn't know about. I didn't know how gruesome it was either. You and Kyle certainly left out a lot of details. I know that it was probably in my best interest that I didn't know. Your mother and I used to get into heated arguments all the time that probably would've resulted in me turning her in. I never used to think before I would act." Thalia said.

"We left out details because you weren't exactly in the right state of mind to be hearing about stuff like that. We weren't going to tell you anything at all, but we decided that you should know just in case something was to happen. Something did happen, and it was what we feared it was going to be. That's why we told you in the first place. We love you so much, and value having you around. Especially then. All of us were scared that it would've made you run off."

"I understand that. I love the both of you too, with all my heart." She sighs. "I think you should probably get going. It's getting late. Kyle doesn't stay up late like he used to. It's also almost Satanica's bedtime."

"I know, I'm going. I love you and I hope you have a good night at work tonight." I pull Thalia in for a hug. Honey and pomegranate. I love her smell, it's so comforting. That's the one thing about her that will never change. That smell will always bring me peace.