Mother, Dearest

3

I look at the wall, with an emotionless blank stare. I'll be without my daughter for one whole week, starting as of one hour, forty-two minutes, and 26 seconds ago. I don't know how I'm going to get through this week without my one main distraction. Taking care of Satanica, has been the only thing I've known for the past six months of our lives.

"Take this time to get to know yourself again, who you are now." Is what my therapist had said to me. I roll my eyes at her, even though she can't see me. I already know who I am now. I'm a mother, a wife, and a mess. That's who I am right now.

I hear the door that leads into my house from the garage open. Jack must be home. I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to greet him. Maybe we can finally spend a little bit of time together this week. We can strengthen our relationship, and I can distract myself from my mother's anniversary of death, that way.

"Hello, darling." I say before giving Jack a peck on the lips. "How was your day dear?" I take Jack's lunchbox from his hands, and make my way over to the sink to empty the dishes out of the lunchbox.

"It was absolutely exhausting. I can't wait to stop working all of these twelve hour shifts. They're really starting to do a number on my brain." Jack says to me. He sits down at the dining room table and pulls his laptop out from the shelf next to the table.  Jack comes home from work, and then proceeds to do even more work.

"What are you doing sir?" I ask and sit down across from him at the table.

"I'm logging the reports from today. I didn't want to sit down at a desk, after being on my feet all day. I just wanted to come home, and be with my wife and my baby girl. So after I'm done logging everything, I'm all yours." Jack smiled, without looking up from his computer.

"Actually, I forgot to tell you about that." I said, biting my lip. How could I have forgotten to consult Jack before shipping our daughter out for a week? I hope he doesn't become too terribly angry at me for this. He hates when I don't involve him in decisions that involve Satanica.

"Forgot to tell me about what?" Jack glances up at me from his laptop.

"I... dropped Satanica off with Kyle. She's supposed to be there for the entire week. I've just been dealing with a lot of high stress, and emotions with my parents anniversary of death coming up, that I completely forgot to talk with you about it. I know I should've, and I am so sorry." I bury my face in my hands. I sit there waiting for him to say something, but nothing comes out of his mouth. I look up to him from my hands.

"Jack? Are you alright?" I ask him. I try to read what he's feeling from his face, and the rest of his body, but I am unsuccessful in getting anything. He's sitting like a statue.

I sigh, and stand up from the table. "I'm going to go lay down, you seem like you need a bit of time to process what I just said. If you have any feedback, or anything you need to say at all, just come up to the room. I love you, and again, I am sorry." I say to him before running up the stairs to our room.

************************

"He just sat there and stared at you?" Kyle says to me. I ended up calling Kyle after an hour of waiting for Jack to come upstairs. I needed to talk to someone. I thought it was weird how he just sat there with this blank expression on his face. I needed a second opinion from another man.

"Yeah, he did. It was super weird. I had expected him to be a little upset, but not completely speechless. What do you think that was about? I couldn't even read his face. He seemed emotionless." I say to Kyle. He creeped me out a little bit, actually.

"I mean... I don't really know, Twy. That's weirdo shit for real. Maybe he has a problem with you leaving your six month old daughter with your ex-boyfriend. I know that I would have some pretty strong feelings about it, if my significant other didn't consult me before shipping off our child to an ex's house." He said. He's not wrong, and I know he's not wrong. I definitely should've said something to him, and gotten his opinion on it. I've just been so overwhelmed lately, that I haven't been thinking straight. I hope that we can smooth this over. I really didn't mean to leave him out like that.