Renegade-N.H-

Steady As She Goes

Steady as She Goes

I recklessly intertwine my fingers into Niall's not thinking about what he wants much at the point. It had taken forever but here I was actually having an enjoyable time with someone. I wasn't at home staring at the ceiling just listening to the clock tick the hours by until the next day.

I was out, I was smiling.

"I hope that you had a good time tonight," Niall says beside me and I just smile harder. My cheeks are flushed and sore from smiling so much. It came blissfully easy with him.

"It was the best night in a very long time," I say. I squeeze his hand tighter in reflex of trying not to squeal when he smiled at me. Bright and across his face like stars lighting up the night sky.

He laughs as a shiver runs through my body, shrugging off his jacket from his shoulders. "I should've known I wouldn't have it for long."

"I don't need it," I say laughing as I refuse to take it. He turns his head slighting to the side and as the moon catches his eyes I see a slight flicker of silver in them. He raises an eyebrow at me as I search his ocean blue eyes for it again but come up empty handed in my efforts.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say.

"Take my jacket before I force ya into it." He jokes holding it out for me.

I take it carefully, swinging it over my shoulders in one movement.

It hangs loose on me just like the first time but it protects me from the cool breeze that floats over the small quiet town. The small lights that are surrounding the carnival light up the rest of the dark town like a christmas tree. To be honest it's quiet peaceful, knowing that almost everyone is there. Laughing and spending time with people they love, and cherish.

Every bone in my body missed my mother and father on nights like these. Perfect nights, where nothing seemed to go wrong. The street is quiet, lined with small trees that had been planted in spring with hopes to grow big and strong. Birds chirped above us, ready for sleep the world growing quiet with the darkness.

"Are you alright love?" he asks as I lean against one of the planters that holds the small but strong baby trees. Nodding at him I close my eyes and take a small breath in. "Do you talk to anyone about it?"

I open my eyes to see him standing in front of me, hands at his side and lips pressed into a tight line. Concern riddled his face, deep lines around his eyes as he furrows his brow. "Nobody understands in this town."

"I'm sure-" he starts but I stop him.

"Everyone thinks they lost something, they all act like it affected them the most but none of them actually see the pain my brother and I are in." I say softly.

"They pretend to, even Alex, she tries but everyone has perfect lives here. So they don't really understand what it feels like to lose a parent."