twisted devotion || Yandere!DAZAI/READER

[9] The Blouse

You arrive at the Agency and its air-con air sweeps over your damp forehead. A familiar pair of two-toned eyes are staring back at you once you enter.

"Oh hello," You wave at him, "Atsushi."

"Hello!" He straightens his back and waves at you, rigid in fashion, "What're you doing here?"

"I got sent here by the Agency to write up a report; is there a template or something I can follow?" You take off your thin jacket and hang it on the coat hanger by the door.

"Oh, yes I do actually!" He returns back to his desk and goes through the paper folders that were on his desk, and you stand by him awkwardly as he sifts through his files, "If I may ask...what were you and Dazai doing today?"

"Oh, we had lunch together," You say, "Why do you ask?"

"It's just that," He pauses his search and looks at you from over his shoulder, "I've never seen him get so friendly with a woman before."

Your brows furrow, "What do you mean?"

"Everyone knows Dazai is a suicidal maniac," The male pulls up a file, "He asks every woman he can to commit suicide with him. But he doesn't associate any connection with them. I haven't seen him do that to you."

"He has asked me to commit a love suicide with him, once," You comment, crossing your arms. Suddenly, you felt defensive.

"Well yes, but...it's just different," He shakes his head before smiling, "Anyways, here's the file; it's the same one I used when I first joined."

"Thanks, Atsushi," You take a seat on one of the chairs and start up the computer while examining the sheet of paper that Atsushi had given you. There were clear pointers as to what to write in which areas, and how to format it according to the Agency, "This is superb. Thanks again."

He blushes, "It's no problem, really," He checks the clock on the wall, "I have to go now."

"Oh yes, the mortuary?"

"Yes," He waves at you, leaving you alone in the Agency, "See you later, (last name)!"

"See you," You wave him off as the door closes behind him. You're instantly swathed in silence the moment he leaves, the Agency eerily quiet without the bustling of members. The only noise was the clicking noise of your keyboard as you started to fill out a document, recalling bits of information and referring to a file that was sent to you by Kunikida about the corpse. You felt at ease once you started an easy yet quick pace; this was you in your area! You worked at a department store, filing away important files for later reference!

Then why was it that you felt so uncomfortable in this silence?

It felt as though there were a cyst in your chest, rendering you helpless against the increasing tempo of your heart as it reached its own crescendo, a scream building in your throat that you hastily swallowed down with your hand massaging your throat, a sting in your nose and eyes that you tried desperately to blink away, a churning in your stomach that you felt as though it was reminiscent of the corpse you saw today. You let out a heavy exhale: Self soothing.

You close your eyes and push yourself away from the computer screen, feeling as though you might be sick all over the screen. Standing up, you follow the directions overhead to find the toilet.

It's vacant.

You open the stall and cover the toilet seat and sit on it, pushing your head into your hands and bending over, cowering in the thudding of your heart. It felt as though it would beat itself into oblivion. You remain sitting with eyes open, looking at the floor, the tiles between your shoes. The longer you stared, the darker it became. A pulsating throb in your temple. A pant. A whine. A squeeze of your eyes. Your hand fisting the fabric of your chest.