west coast | levi.a

𝟏.𝟕

❧𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭❧

Infatuation, possession and obsession, her downfalls. Y/N routinely sat in a chair at a renowned therapist in Trost, starting off cold and highly guarded, but gradually over time, to her therapists dismay, she did start to open up. Y/N was truly an enigma, a prized student that had mounds of trauma and hate built up within her. She thought it just made her more interesting and was your ticket into one of the best universities in New England.

"I don't understand why people move on from me trying to kill myself so quickly. If someone had actually attempted to murder me it'd be justified for me to spend years in therapy and spiral the way I did. But because I tried to kill me I'm expected to get over it."

The therapist looked at her as she ranted, with a small smile plastered on her face as if she'd been waiting for her to finally say this.

"Who exactly expects you to move on?"

"My family I suppose. They know it's their fault I'm like this so they don't like that I'm a constant reminder that they've messed up."

"And your friends?"

"They don't know about it. Well Eren and Mikasa do. Eren's been through something similar and Mikasa helped him the most. They kinda see me as the sad girl so they don't expect me to do move on any time soon and I don't like talking about it to them."

"I see. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like anyone truly wants you to get over it. Sure your family find it uncomfortable but you're in a different country. Away from them for the next few years at least. I think the person who wants to get over what happened to you; is you."

She grew silent, and opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. She was right.

"And I like the thinking of other perspectives. If someone else tried to murder you, everyone would console you and give you time. So now what if your friend tried to kill themself? How would you talk to them? In the same way you've been talking to yourself?"

She shook her head.

"You need to talk more Y/N. There's no point in trying to change yourself to fit others. You need to tell people who you are, and if they don't like it. That's on them. Trying to make yourself into this cold girl who doesn't care about who she has sex with, breaking people's hearts so that you feel more powerful isn't you. You know what you want, so why are you denying yourself it?"

At her coffee shop shift a few hours later, she was still thinking about it. She wasn't the girl who she tried to show Levi. It was true that she and Eren maintained a friends with benefits relationship, but that wasn't her. She'd started it in a dark time when she just needed comfort. She needed obsession and devotion as much as she needed oxygen to breathe. She didn't want this game her and Levi were playing. It stressed her out and made her even more sad then before. She either wanted all in, or all out.

"Black Americano please." She heard a familiar voice as she looked up and rolled her eyes.

"You stalking me now?" She asked playfully, turning around and extracting shots as he looked her up and down, clearly admiring how the apron she wore emphasised her curves.

"Yup. I mean. Mikasa said you worked at the coffee shop and this is the only one near your dorm so. It wasn't detective work."

She sighed heavily, watching the coffee drip into the small cup, biting her lip in contemplation as she made the drink. Fuck it.

"Why are you here Levi?"

"Stop asking stupid questions."

"I don't want this. I told you. Either you're all in for me or you're not. I can't be with someone who will treat me like...like a toy." She saidfirmly, putting the lid of his drink on before pulling out paper towels.