Philia | h.s

sixteen

Harry

November 18th

I remember so vividly the day she told me she was pregnant. My whole world collapsed. Not because I wasn't happy but because the commitment we needed to do to get there wasn't in my mind. At all.

That day, I understood everything.

But it also means that this baby was going to bond us forever whether I wanted it to or not. So I took it upon myself and did what I had to do.

She never thought about a name, in the 9 months she was pregnant she didn't care at all about the baby. It was not about being scared or whatever, she just didn't care. It was as if he wasn't here and about to be born at any time.

I had countless nights where I wasn't sleeping. Instead, I was looking for a name, I was learning things about new newborns. I wanted to be ready when he would arrive, as scary as it was, he was my responsibility and I couldn't disappoint him.

The day he was born,  was one of the happiest days of my life and when I held him against my chest, I swore that I would never let something happen to him. The moment we were skin to skin, I felt a kind of love that I never did before, it was consuming in the best way possible. All I wanted was to cherish him and give him the best life.

But I still didn't have a name and it wasn't his mom that would find something. One day she left the hospital room to have a walk but she never returned and it was at that precise moment that I decided that it was enough that she'll never have contact with this precious boy.

So I thought about the one thing that brings me light in the darkness, Mabel. I made the decision to name him Mio so he can have a piece of her, a piece of the love  I was lucky to have and hopefully he'll know one day.

Mabel saved me so many times from the darkness of life, she was and still is my guardian angel. Maybe her love is strong enough and powerful to save him from the madness of the world.

On November 18th, Mio Clarke Style was born, having the most devoted father and an angel protecting him with a magical touch that every fairytale tells about: love

I slowly open Mio's door and tiptoe until I reach his bed. I caress his little cheek and kiss his forehead, "Good morning my love, happy birthday" I whisper.

He rubs his eyes and opens one eye at a time. A tiny smile spread through his face, "Today?"

I nod and remove his hair from his eyes, "You're getting big my tiny baby"

"Like you" he mumbles, tiredness in his voice. A slight chuckle leaves my mouth at his response.

"Do you want something to eat in particular?" He doesn't answer right away, instead, he slowly drifts to sleep again, "Hey hey, don't fall asleep right now," I say, a smile plastered on my face. I decide to run my hands under his legs and under his back, getting him out of bed and carrying him into the kitchen.

I gently place him on the couch and turn on the TV with his favourite cartoon. Once he's settled, I go into the kitchen and make him breakfast.

I pull out all the ingredients I need to make him a fruit salad and little star-shaped pancakes. I watch from time to time what he is doing but nothing seems to bother him, his eyes fixed on the screen. I hear his little laugh and it puts a smile on my face.