"can i copy the homework?"
aether: i can help you with it!
kazuha: yea, sure.
heizou: bold of you to assume i did the homework.
scaramouche: lol nope.
venti: wait we had homework?!?!?
xiao: *read 5:55pm*
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pierro: if you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. if it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
tartaglia: what if it bites me and it dies!?
arlecchino: then you're poisonous. for the love of tsaritsa, childe, learn to listen.
sandrone: what if it bites itself and i die?
pantalone: that's voodoo.
columbina: what if it bites me and someone else dies?
dottore: that's correlation, not causation.
sandrone: what if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
pantalone: that's kinky.
pierro: oh my god.
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itto: oh, come now. if i'm really as evil as you say i am, then let god strike me down where i stand...
*lightning bolt strikes him, does nothing*
itto: ha! nice try, jackass! next time, give it your a-game!
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tighnari, holding a python: guys i impulsively bought a snake, what do i name him
collei: you did WHAT–
cyno: william snakepeare
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kaveh: uuuuuuuh... hey alhaitham? i burnt the water.
alhaitham: KAVEH HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BURN THE WATER
kaveh: i don't know bro it- it just caught on fire
alhaitham: KAVEH OH MY GOD, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE
kaveh: i'm sorry, i can't cook
alhaitham: FUUUUUUUUUU
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aether: you drink your coffee black, scaramouche?
scaramouche: yes.
aether: god, who hurt you?
scaramouche: alphabetically or chronologically?
aether: let's forget i asked.
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childe: i have a problem.
scaramouche: does it involve me?
childe: no, but-
scaramouche: then suffer in silence.
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pierro: so. who broke it? i'm not mad, i just wanna know.
sandrone: i did, i broke it.
pierro: no you didn't. knave?
arlecchino: don't look at me. look at childe.
tartaglia: what?! i didn't break it.
arlecchino: huh...that's weird. how did you even know it was broken?
tartaglia: BECAUSE IT WAS SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF US AND ITS BROKEN!
arlecchino: suspicious.
tartaglia: NO IT'S NOT!!!
pantalone: if it matters, probably not, but columbina was the last one near it.
columbina: liar! i dont even like signora!
pantalone: oho really? then what were you doing leaning on the coffin earlier?
columbina: i just really like dead bodies. everyone knows that, regrator! besides, lets not fight. you're rich. you can pay for it.
pierro: no! who broke it?!?!?
tartaglia: jester...the doctor's been awfully quiet.
dottore: really?!
*everyone starts arguing*
pierro: i broke it. i burned my hand so i punched it. i predicted ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
YOU ARE READING
𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙦𝙪𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨
Fanfiction"that's a bad idea" "uh huh" "im assuming you already did it" "yuppers" - incorrect quotes & other stuff i gathered from the vast sea of knowledge known as the internet
