childe: do you wanna play 20 questions?
zhongli: sure.
zhongli: what's your favourite colour?
childe: triangle. do you like men?
______________________________
kaeya: here, diluc, a nice cup of hot coffee
diluc: this is cold.
kaeya: nice cup of coffee.
diluc: it's horrible.
kaeya: cup of coffee.
diluc: i'm not sure this is coffee.
kaeya: cup.
______________________________
kaeya: diluc gave me a get better soon card.
jean: aw, that's sweet!
kaeya: i wasn't sick. he just thought i could do better.
______________________________
venti: did you know it's impossible to say the word 'bubbles' and make it sound threatening?
(later)
zhongli: can someone explain to me why xiao has been screaming "bubbles" angrily for the past 2 hours?
______________________________
xiao: i hate you with every inch of my being.
childe: that's not a lot of inches.
______________________________
kaeya: *holding a bottle* is this whiskey or perfume?
venti: *chugs entire bottle*
venti: it's perfume
______________________________
mona: when's your birthday?
scaramouche: why, so you can look at my natal chart? so you can figure out my weaknesses? so you can destroy me?
______________________________
shenhe: open up.
shenhe: now.
ganyu: it all started when i was six-
shenhe: open the fucking door.
______________________________
albedo: kaeya texted me "your adorable" so i texted him back and said "no, YOU'RE adorable."
diluc: and?
albedo: and now we're dating. we've been on 6 dates. all i did was point out the typo, but i like him so i'm not gonna say anything.
______________________________
wanderer: i hope i don't have to fight my evil shadow self today.
shouki no kami: hey.
wanderer: no fucking way.
(or,)
ei: i hope i don't have to fight my evil shadow self today.
magatsu mitake narukami no mikoto: hey.
ei: no fucking way.
______________________________
venti: I'm learning ukrllendbd
venti: ukelndjd
bard friend: same
venti: ukrlekd
bard friend: take ur time
venti: ukelela
venti: umkelee
venti: mini guitar
bard friend: there u go
______________________________
scaramouche, pointing at dottore: fuck you.
scaramouche, pointing at childe: fuck you.
scaramouche, pointing at signora: fuck you.
scaramouche, pointing at kazuha: you're cool.
scaramouhe, to everyone else and the rest of the harbingers: and fuck you, i'm out!
______________________________
kaeya: hey diluc wanna hear a dad joke?
diluc: what?
kaeya: never mind, you wouldn't get it.
diluc: TIME FOR RETRIBU-
______________________________
venti: KSJFKSNDJG
zhongli: what the hell is that?
venti: that's keyboard smashing.
zhongli: and how do i do that?
venti: just press any key.
zhongli: ???
zhongli: E
______________________________
nahida: english is a difficult language. it can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
scaramouche: you need to stop.
______________________________
dottore: *gets down on one knee*
scaramouche: oh my god, it's finally happening.
dottore: *falls over*
scaramouche: the poison is kicking in.
______________________________
YOU ARE READING
𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙦𝙪𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨
Fanfic"that's a bad idea" "uh huh" "im assuming you already did it" "yuppers" - incorrect quotes & other stuff i gathered from the vast sea of knowledge known as the internet
