Just A Little Loko

Chapter Seven

"Anjean... Why didn't you tell me?" I eyes switched back and forth between the two women, unable to fathom the truth.

The old woman shook her head, "I didn't think you would believe me, my dear."

"Of course I would have—"

"No, you wouldn't have." She remained adamant about it.

I stopped myself, breaking eye contact with her to think realistically about it, remembering my place here. She was right, I probably wouldn't have. I was so hellbent on bringing her back... I watched her die. I watched her body remain limp in my arms on the battlefield. When she called my name and touched my shoulder... I was so spooked, that when I turned around, I wasn't expecting to see her but rather another demon. Though alas, she was there, and my blade went right through her. The light in her eyes faded away in my arms. I witnessed it... It happened. But what happened to her body afterwards?... No one knew. No one but Anjean.

I figured I at least deserved an explanation, something to put my mind at ease. I looked back to Anjean, "So what... What happened?"

She exchanged glances with Lou, nodding to the girl whom then stepped forwards, "That night, the last thing I remembered was your face amongst the chaos, but moments after everything had faded, I was suddenly back in the Tower of Spirits. Grandma Anjean had summoned my soul, and from there she disguised me as a fairy so I'd blend in a little better." She came by my seat and sat on the floor, "To be honest, I was little scared to make my presence in front of you, I didn't know how you'd react... So I kind of, sort of... Um... Well I hid from you. Don't take it personally, I wanted to see you, I've missed you, but you also turned somewhat volatile after that time, irrational I guess... Though maybe if I had shown myself—none of this would've happened but..." She took a breath, looking away briefly, "But um... I guess that's in the past now, right?"

I wasn't so sure about that. Yes, it was safe to say I was done rampaging and that the past can't be undone, so I nodded to her, but I couldn't just put it all behind me. I desperately wanted to undo what I did, I went to great lengths to do so. I worked harder as an apprentice, and when the gods rejected me I called it quits because I swore I needed to find a way... And that demon sounded so convincing... I was never really accepting of the plan he had, but it was what we needed to do, at least I thought. So I did it. And now that I was willingly a part of it and it was all for nothing... I feel like I've lost my rights as an individual. After this, I truly feel I deserved all my failures and hurt feelings. I feel defeated, and although I want to do something to make it right, that won't happen because nothing can make it right... I did this. I enabled this to happen. It is my responsibility and there is nothing I can do about it. Everything in the past was a punishment for the future, and I deserve it and more. I will never forgive myself.

Lou on the other hand, while she hadn't forgiven me either, likely felt there was a way to make things right again. Her positive tone brought me back into the real world, "Oh, and Byrne," She began, "I also..." She pointed a swiveling finger at my side, "I healed your wound. Figured it would make life a little less miserable." She shrugged with a brief closed-smile before standing and dusting herself off.

I nodded to her, "Thank you." It begged the question however, "So have you?..."

"No." She smiled weakly, "I haven't. I've just regained my mortal form, thanks to the energy Malladus put off. And besides, I don't really want to join the gods. I like the humans, they're kind. And the earth," She gazed out one of the windows, "I'll never tire of looking at it."

'Kind...' My feelings felt in vain. I still didn't really want to accept the humans, but I felt I didn't really have a valid reason to hate them anymore... I let out a sigh as I watched her, "Well, at least you're back to the way you were before so, that's good." I smiled weakly as well, only for a moment.