Do It For Him

I Wish That I Knew, What Makes You Think I'm So Special

  Ever since they kissed, Uzui hasn't really talked about it. It's like it never really happened. If anything, Zenitsu expected him to make fun of him for it. But he hasn't. In fact, Uzui has hardly talked to him. He wonders if he did something wrong, maybe he upset him? But how? He doesn't understand. Tamayo said to take it easy and not do any strenuous activities, so he hasn't trained. Is that why he's angry? Uzui's so inconsistent! He's worried, then he's angry, and then he's kind and gentle. He doesn't understand!

"Zenitsu?" He jumps and looks behind him.

"Yeah?" Tanjirou looks at him with a worried expression.

"Are... you okay?" Zenitsu laughs, shaking his head.

"Yeah, why?" Tanjirou frowns, looking at the ground.

"It's just... you're acting so... so... normal!" Zenitsu raises his eyebrow and smiles.

"What do you mean?" Tanjirou looks up at him with a sharp eye.

"I mean, that you were almost killed! You're not scared, or even a little traumatized?!" Zenitsu looks down, smiling.

"I am," he admits, "I'm really scared... but I can't be when I'm protecting Uzui-san—"

"AGH!" Zenitsu flinches, looking at Tanjirou's worried face. "Try worrying about yourself for once! Prioritize yourself! You're just as important!" Zenitsu blinks as he watches tears fall down Tanjirou's face.

"What? I do prioritize myself!" Tanjirou groans and clenches his fists.

"No! You don't! Do you have any idea how I feel!?" Zenitsu's eyes widen. Has Zenitsu even ever considered how others feel? What? Of course he has!

"Of course I have! You're okay! I'm okay! We're okay!"

"No, I'm not okay..." Zenitsu smiles.

"Yes, you are! You're not hurt!" Tanjirou glares at him with sad eyes.

"I am hurt. Talk to me when you understand that..." Zenitsu tries to touch his shoulder, but he walks away without another word.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Zenitsu!" He mocks, crossing his arms, and rolling his eyes.

❦

Tanjirou, for the longest time, has always worried about people. It's just the kind of person he is. Zenitsu has made him worried more times than he could count. It makes his heart ache. He feels like he's twenty years older than he actually is.

Worrying about people, it's a full time commitment. And he doesn't mind it. If he can help his friends, if he can help his family , it's worth every heart attack.

But what Zenitsu did, he doesn't know if he can handle that. He almost got himself killed, twice. His energy is almost spent. He's always wondered why Zenitsu is so calm about having near death experiences, despite saying that he's scared of dying. It completely contradicts who Zenitsu is. But a thought strikes him. Something he overheard months ago.

Tanjirou was walking down the hallway, overhearing Kanao talking to Zenitsu. He wasn't exactly paying attention, but something she said made him raise an eyebrow.

"Repeat after me," she says, "you don't matter."

"I don't matter," Zenitsu repeats. Tanjirou blinks, not truly understanding the weight of her words. He hears Tomioka calling him, saying something about an assignment. He looks at the door one more time and sadly walks away.