not us

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by equilivebrium

by equilivebrium

I like the taste of thrill while riding roller
   coasters—
the ups, downs, and spins accompanied by
   screams and cheers.
but not this.
not this roller coaster of emotions that
   weaken my knees.

I like happy crushes.
I get to enjoy the little smiles with my
   distant gazes.
but not that.
not when I can neither distinguish nor
   assess when to draw the line on where I
   should be and where I'm currently at.

happy crushes, silly little flutters are all fun.
'til you find yourself hypnotized with your
   own delusions.
brightest stars are soothing to watch,
just not until you notice that you're already
   reaching out your hand, believing it will
   fall right onto the palm of your hand—
   yours to own, yours to catch.

so this is me, pulling the reins of my horses
amidst the blurry lines and unsure paces.
for I may find myself in this unending
banter of thoughts and feelings,
but this situation screams a crystal clear,
"Stop. Turn away. Run, darling."