Whispers on a Wing

Chapter Nine

It was past five 'o' clock by the time we'd finished for the day. My brain hurt from all the explaining I'd had to do and my voice felt horse from the amount of talking I'd done. I don't think I've talked this much in a long time, the only person I really had to listen to me was Harper, and she wasn't even a person.

"Go home, study up on the material and notes I've given you then we can regroup on Monday and see where we're at," I muttered to him as I ran my hand through my hair. Even though I had cut it, making it easier to handle, I still had the odd fly away that would escape my hair tie and blow around my face in the wind.

"Sure White," Jake nodded as he shoved his hand back into his jeans pocket, no doubt retrieving his precious phone so that he could turn it back on and see what he'd missed over the last few hours of being off the grid.

I nodded my head back at him before turning around and walking off, accepting the fact that I have officially lost his attention now that the electronic device currently resting in his hands had lit back up. I was surprised though, when I was halted in my tracks by a hand on my shoulder pulling me back to stand in front of Jake.

"Thanks for today White, both for waiting for me and doing this assignment with me. I used to be so good at balancing all this; lacrosse, studies, sleep and still managing to have a social life." he shrugged. "I guess somewhere down the line I got distracted and my grades started to suffer for it. That's why I wanted to sit next to you yesterday, I knew Mr. Reeves was handing out this assignment and I knew that if I was paired with you you'd whip me into shape so that I could get a good grade and pass."

I smiled up at him slightly, surprised at how sincere his apology sounded. He may be an annoying, big headed, cocky pretty boy, but at least he could admit when he was wrong and when he needed help. I couldn't fault him for that.

"Sure Jake, I'll see you Monday in class," I nodded before turning and leaving the library, surprised at the fact that the smile I'd offered him had actually been a genuine one and not the sarcastic ones I usually threw around.

When I got back home I slumped on my bed and drew in a deep breath. Even though I hadn't technically done much today I still felt shattered, all that talking and brainstorming was something I wasn't used to and it had taken it out of me. I threw a pillow over my face to block out the fading light and sighed into the fabric causing it to warm my cheeks that were still chilly from the flight home.

I knew I had stuff to do, stuff like have a shower and sort out something for me to eat, but at the moment all I could think about was Jake's face as he apologised and thanked me for today. It had been so long since I'd let anyone in, and even longer since I'd done anything for someone which warranted a thank you from anyone. It was nice, a reminder of who I really was deep down under all the anger and aloofness.

I hadn't always been like this, I had once been the life and soul of the party, but once you realise everyone was out to get you, you quickly learn to keep everyone at arm's length. It was sad sometimes and really lonely, but it had to be done if I wanted to survive and not get hunted down.

I finally built up enough motivation to sit up and grab the few dirty items of clothing I had so that I could wash them, as well as myself, in the nearby river. Having so few items as I did meant I had to wash things almost on a daily basis, which was annoying when all I wanted to do was be lazy and lie in bed all day, but at least it kept me busy so that my brain couldn't wander. That was a dangerous thing.

Since living on my own I had always found the task of washing my clothes weirdly therapeutic, it was as if I couldn't wash away the grime and muck from my own life but I could at least wash it away from the scraps of fabric that I'd worn the previous day. It was something I could occupy myself with, something that was repetitive but also needed my close attention so as not to miss any specks of mud that had smeared on my jeans when kneeling down in my garden.