Saving the Sun

Extended Summary

From the outside world to everyone looking in, James Potter is perfect. He has two loving parents, who dote on him every chance they get. He has his best friends, Sirius, Peter, and Remus, who he cares for greatly. He is their protector. He became an animagus for Remus, and all the days right before and after the full moon, he checks in on him, sneaks chocolate into his nightstand, and takes notes for him when he feels too ill to do so. Not only that, but he double-checks Remus' store of pain potions so he is never low, and unbeknownst to Remus, he makes sure all of his books are formatted so that he does not struggle to read them because James knows Remus has dyslexia. For Peter, James makes sure he never feels left out, he will slow down his walking to make sure Peter is part of the conversation, and he is the one Peter confides in. Peter will tell James everything, including his insecurities, and James will do everything in his power to make Peter feel more confident. James will make sure to compliment Peter at least twice a week, and will sometimes leave encouraging notes in his textbooks to find when doing homework. Finally, for Sirius, he did everything he could for him. He stayed up all night when Sirius would have nightmares about what Walburga would do, and would be Sirius' shoulder to cry on when they would come back from breaks, or when he would have panic attacks.

James always prioritized his friends, and they were always grateful for James. They were glad to be able to have a friend like him, and while they always had to worry about everyone else, they never had to worry about James. What they didn't know was that James was struggling. He had a need to be perfect because everyone saw him that way. He could not ruin his image. He would wake up at the crack of dawn every morning, and immediately would grab his broom. He would spend the time from 5 am to 7 am running drills, working out, and practicing. James would barely make it back to the dorm before the rest of the marauders would wake up and head to breakfast after his morning shower. During breakfast, he would spend too much time filling his friend's plates and making sure they eat to remember to eat himself. He would also spend most lunches trying to sneak in extra quidditch practice, none of the other marauders knew about his early morning practices, so they didn't see anything wrong with him practicing through lunch. James in his mind needed perfect grades, to be the perfect friend, and to be the best chaser at Hogwarts. If his grades slipped at all, his chest would tighten to the point where he could hardly breathe, and would spend every evening in the library studying until the next test. Also, whenever Gryffindor lost a quidditch match, he would blame himself and would spend at least thirty minutes in the showers after the game trying to get his heart to stop beating so fast, to get his breathing under control again, and to get the tears to stop coming so no one would be worried. He also would stay up late trying to get his hands to stop shaking, and for the pain in his chest to ease enough for him to sleep.

He was able to keep all of these behaviors hidden from everybody until the summer before the sixth year. It had finally happened, Sirius had finally had enough of the abuse from Walburga. James opened his front door to see Sirius in tears holding a trunk and Regulus' hand. Immediately, James pulls them inside and frantically tries to get them to calm down and get settled in. Little did he know that Regulus Black would see right through James' walls, and they would both find their way into each other's hearts.

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Tigger Warnings - This fic includes topics about mental health and eating disorders, but no SH.

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This fic is not canon compliant and is a happy ending fic, however, it will be sad off and on throughout the fic.

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This is my first fan fic since middle school, and I am currently in college. Please be kind.