Aurora

Chapter 18

Aurora

I've never really grieved the death of my parents till today.

I was reading in my room when I was hit with this sudden heartbreak. The same heartbreak I felt when I lost my other piece, my Diana.

I wasn't a fan of crying. Never was till I lost D. I was a wreak and cried everyday. I miss her more than anything in the world and would love to see her again.

I was so caught up in reuniting with my family that I had pushed away what had really happened. I lost the two most important people in my life.

I stay in bed staring into space just thinking about them. I remember the first time I baked with mama. The first book Pa read to me. The time we built a fort in the living room and slept there because I was to scared to sleep in my room after a kid on tv told me about the monster underneath my bed.

Tears make there way down my face as I think about them. They were my light, my moon and my sun. Mama being the sun of course. She was always smiling and so positive.

She loved Diana like she was her own. I remember the day we were told about what happened to Diana. It broke her just like it did to me. Diana came over a lot, and when she did we had an amazing time. I miss her. Just like I miss my parents.

The tears kept coming down like a waterfall. I wanted to hug my parents and have them tell me everything was alright, but they're gone. Ripped away from me. I will never see them ever again. I won't see their smile or hear their laugh.

They're with Ana now- there daughter, they're happy and at peace, but I miss them. I'd do anything just to say goodbye, I never got the chance too. I never even went to there funeral.

I never went to there funeral.

I couldn't stop the tears making there way down my face. I wanted the feeling in my heart to stop. It hurt to much, it felt like my chest was squeezing it. The sting hurts more then words can express.

I feel horrible. I called Maria mom. Does that mean I'm replacing mama? I don't want to replace her but Maria was so happy that I finally called her it i'd hate to stop calling her it.

Am I replacing mama? Was it right to call Maria mom?

So many questions were up in my head and I wanted answers but was afraid no one was able to answer them but the people I lost.

I feel as if every person that comes into my life I loose them. I hate feeling like this. I want this feeling gone. Most of all..

I want my mama and pa back.

I miss them so much. I miss D so much. I wish I could see them one last time, to say goodbye. Even Ana too who I have no memory of.

I didn't feel like getting up but I knew I had to. I knew I had to walk downstairs and see my family so they won't worry about me. I don't want them to worry about me.

I slowly get up and walk to my bathroom, I turn the shower on and take off my pajamas. I step in the warm water and relax. I wish but it isn't easy. Tears made there way down my face. I couldn't stop them. As hard as I tried they wouldn't stop.

I turn off the water and wipe my eyes as I step out. I wrap myself in a white fluffy towel then dry my hair. I walk over to my closet and put on some fluffy white shorts along with one of my brothers sweatshirts, which went all the way down to my knees. I grab a pair of fluffy socks and put them on.

I was debating if I should put my hair in a messy bun or just brush it and leave it like that.

I really didn't feel like putting it up so I just brush it out. I look in the mirror and see tear makes along my cheeks. I frown. I'm so sorry.