THE EDGE (ManxMan)

Chapter 15.

>Caspers POV.

"It's not that I don't want them to meet. They met already, multiple times. Maybe I was trying to ween Felix into the thought that we had a baby? I really don't know; all these decisions I've been making are having a bigger toll on Beau than on anybody else." I told my therapist, with both of my palms hiding my face. The bony feeling of my elbow creating uncomfortable pain against my thighs. It's all just a massive mess.

I'm a grown ass man, yet I've been putting my feelings first and not my child's. Beau did nothing wrong, he was born when two people felt like they loved each other at the same; sex was not forced on me or on Felix when we did it. Yet, after that accident or rather, after that day when I knew I meant nothing to my mate, my body and mind made me believe that I was used beyond belief. 18-year old me fought against everything possible to make sure his mate felt pain when I left. But did he feel pain? Or was it just my mind playing tricks on me in order to slow me down and that relationship that came to an end?

My eyes made their way to my therapist. Suzanna writing something down in the blood-red leather book she carried around since the start of our appointment. I can see us becoming good acquaintances or maybe even friends? She's a good person, being a supernatural being herself. Mated to the love of her life at this point. The back of my mind envied what they had, at the same time maybe if I wasn't a coward and stood up for myself at the end of mine and Felix's relationship, tried to work it out, I would of been happily married to the love of my life already. We can only dream at this point.

As my mother would say; "There's no need to cry over spilled milk, honey."

"Casper, you're an unusual individual. I've been in this field for many years, and the goddess bestowed me with my own mate because of this. I'm saying this not only as your therapist but as a being myself." She stopped, putting down the book and looking straight at me. Her curly brown strands of hair fell on her dark complexion as she smiled; that motherly smile.

"I could be utterly professional and tell you that a relationship which was and still is based on lies will never work out. But that's what I use on my human clients, however, your case is special and intriguing at the same time." her smile didn't leave her lips. Those sun kissed eyes of hers never leaving mine. "This is coming from one mate to another, don't give up. Your scars are healing already, but you're trying to make them heal now rather than wait to see what fate will have in stock for you. Your wolf and yourself are very impatient, and that's bad; at this moment anyway."

I nodded at her, relaxing slightly against the leather couch. My mind was swirling with different emotions that I could handle, I was used to it. She was right in many ways, I am an impatient person, so is my wolf.

"What do you think I should do then? Should I just straight off the bat tell him that Beau is his son, and then spill how I feel about the whole thing? Maybe I should apologise that I kept him in the dark for all those years?" I breathed out, feeling a headache coming on. "It's not like me to do that, I'm still hurting, Suzanna."

"You won't heal on your own, Casper. You need the person who caused you these scars to heal with you, and Beau? That little man can't heal his fathers scars by himself even though he's trying to hide that being away from his other dad is giving him pain. I understand he has a fiancée, but she's not his mate and you two still have a strong mate connection. It's not too late, it really isn't."

"Let me tell you this, talk to your son first and then meet up with Felix somewhere that the two of you will be comfortable. Just drop the bomb on him, see how he reacts and then tell your mate how it made YOU feel when he decided to leave you. Tell him everything, don't stop yourself, don't make excuses about your feelings but hit him with the cold hard truth." Her legs made their way to the couch I was sitting on, putting her manicured hand on top of my stiff shoulder. "I know this is moving really fast, but why wait? You've waited five years to hear his excuse and he waited five years for yours. Supernatural beings have this little talent of never stopping loving their mates, I was like you when I was younger. The whole world was against me but I beat through it because I am my own person and I don't need this world to dictate their rules on me; you make your own rules in this game. And so what if you're moving too fast? I've dealt with people going slow and lasting merely few weeks when they got together, on the contrary I've dealt with couples who moved in together after knowing each other for a month and they've been happily mated and married for years, and still are."