Song of Sirens

Chapter 6

Once I'm back in my room, I undress and get into an old t-shirt and track pants before quickly climbing into bed. I did all this is the dark because Alice is asleep across the room and it is the middle of the night. I don't want to wake the whole house.

I lay on my side and bury my head in my pillow, running everything through my head. And then the green eyes. Why? Why? Why?  Why did it have to be green eyes. That just makes it hurt more. It stings, like a burning swelling pain in my abdomen. I close my eyes and I'm there again, he's alive and I'm okay, back when everything was normal, complicated. But normal.

He stares at me across the room. The first thing I notice while I'm coping notes from my textbook. Emily leans across the me. "He's staring at you again."

"Don't remind me, Em." I'm on edge and I take it out on her, but she doesn't care.

The rest of class passes with me ignoring him and I decide I've had enough, not long after class he finds a reason to walk past me. Again. It's really quite creepy.

"Josh," he steps across the hallway as everyone walks past, before everyone is gone.

"Yeah?" He smiles down at me, those green eyes shining with happiness.

"Why do you always stare at me? And walk past me? Repetitively? It's kind of creepy." I look at the ground, I cant meet his eyes.

"Oh my god what is wrong with you?" I look up suddenly to find anger burning in those green eyes. "Just don't Olive, I cant do this anymore. I cant stand being around you anymore."

"Oh, okay. Never mind," I quickly walk around him and then all the way home. I don't even stop to say goodbye to Emily.

It starts to rain just as I get home. And I hurry into my room, telling my father I have an essay to write for tomorrow and he says he'll call me out when dinner is ready. I grab my laptop and climb into my bed, putting my phone next to me on the blankets and I open my e-mails to tell Emily everything. But I pause when my inbox loads.

 One new from Josh Mathers

I nervously hover my mouse over it before deciding I need to open it, but I instantly regret it.

 What motivates you, drives you to warp everything in your head so you look like a better person, because it is clear to anyone with even half a brain that you aren't. Why would you ask that? Are you that self-absorbed? Why did you break up with me? Why did you ask me out? And most importantly, why did I say yes? I did it because I felt sorry for you, that you were desperate enough to ask me out, but then out of no where I did start to like you. Even after you broke up with me I did until about half an hour ago. Now all I feel is pity for you, and more importantly your friends because they put up with you. I don't want your answer, or even your explanation. Goodbye Olive, at one point I might have said, 'Nice knowing you' but that was just my naivety and it really wasn't so now I say good riddance to removing the most toxic person from my life. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, and do not get in my way.

I forward the message to Emily immediately as the tears start to fall down my cheeks. Then I pick up my phone and call her, trying to stop myself from crying.

The phone only ring twice before she picks up, "Hey, what happened to you this afternoon, I didn't see you?"

"Em, I need you. Please," I choke the words out through my tears and it isn't long before she bursts into my bedroom.

She rushes forward and wraps her arms around me, holding me while I cry, and scream, and choke. She read the email on her way over and she cant believe him. She hates him now. Almost as much as I do.

"Shh, Liv, its alright," her hand lightly strokes my hair, soothing me. "I'll stay with you all weekend, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

That was only the first time I broke down. My first mental collapse.

I snap back to the present in the darkness of my boarding room, my cheeks warm and sticky from tears. I cant do this anymore.

I cant deal with the pain.