[𝐋𝐮𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐞]
On the outside, Luella is this confident, sassy, yet kind girl. She's powerful, knows her place and where she stands. But on the inside she's tired and loosing grasp on reality. She hides her real mentality...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
| DEATH, SMOKING | "Life went on but it was never the same again." ❦
Death.
A process where a soul is faded away into the abyss of god knows what the after life is, and where another slowly dies because of it. My mother was the soul that faded away into the afterlife. I, however, was the soul that faded away because of it.
I use to be a very energetic person. Always looking for trouble, always getting in trouble, always being in trouble. Not that I wanted to be but more so that I felt comfortable for who I truly was.
I was a happy child. Always jumping and running, always found a reason to be happy. But now, that's changed.
The main reason that I was content with my life was because my mother was in it. She was a very happy person, always smiling, always at peace with herself and others. She wanted the best for everyone, even those who despised her.
I took a lot of her personality and looks. We have the same green eyes, freckles, fragile hands, and fluffy brown hair. She was always a pleasure to be around. I remember her painting, how she would spend hours perfecting one, how she gently stroked the brush around the once empty canvas, how she was look so concentrated when painting.
I also have other memories like the times she took me to the park or the lake, when she would stay up late with me until I fell asleep because I was scared of monsters under my bed, and how every time I felt down she would take me to this field filled with colorful flowers where the sunset was beautiful and shown on the horizon.
But I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm not as happy and energetic as I used to be, and my mother is dead. My protector is dead.
She's gone.
I think about her everyday. Everything reminds me of her. Flowers, paintings, sunsets, the lake, the park, even Luella. I see my mother in Luella in a sort of weird way. The have the same bright smile that lights up the whole room. They share the same energy.
Some days are worse than others. Some days I'm to tired to get out of bed because I cried the entire night, other days I feel fine, yet empty.
I guess that's how mourning is. You wake up one day feeling fine then the next feeling empty waiting to be whole again. It's the circle of life.
❦
It's Saturday and I had just finished studying with Luella.
Ever since I had arrived unannounced at her apartment and took care of her it has been a little awkward between us. Yet that does not stop Luella from finding more things to argue with me about. In fact, it has gotten worse. She's blown up about more things the last week then I believe the last month. I don't know what's led her to have these outbreaks but I truly don't mind because even when she's arguing with me, she still looks hot.
