VANESSA
SAN FRANCISCO HERE WE ARE AGAIN...
For the first time, I missed the comfort of my apartment in New York, which was surprising since I didn't particularly like my life there. Running away from everything wasn't what I thought it would be... even with Jeremy by my side.
I guess I just expected it to be easy and it just — wasn't. Nothing ever is, Is it?
I exhaled as I looked out the window of our private car, Big Ken was driving while humming along to the music that was playing on the radio. Everything was familiar to me, bringing back memories of different points in my life, before Jeremy and after. Where are we going — I forgot to even ask.
"Are you okay?"Jeremy asked from the other side of the back seat. I appreciated his concern. He's the reason why I came back after all... the only reason.
I turned my head and looked at him, noticing that he was tapping away on his phone instead of looking at me. Why ask the question if you're not prepared to give me eye contact? It annoyed me a little, But I know Jeremy. I'm sure it's work-related and important.
"I'm fine."I replied, trying to hold back my crabby attitude."Where are we going?"
"Home."Jeremy looked up from his screen for the first time since we entered the car. He looked in Big Ken's direction, irritated by his humming before bringing his attention to me."Where else would we be going?"
"I just thought maybe we would be staying with your parents since we're getting the mansion ready to be sold. It's been so long, I thought you would want to spend time with them while we're here."
I didn't want to stay with Jeremy's parents, I didn't like the idea of staying in the mansion either. I missed Tom and Ava... it's been a year since we've seen them. The last time I talked to Ava in person she basically told me that she wanted me out of Jeremy's life. It's going to be hard to look at her.
I know we'll see them while we're here... it's inevitable and I'm dreading it. I'm dreading seeing her after everything, I'm dreading the polite conversation I'll have to make with her knowing that she hates me and doesn't want me near her son. But I married him anyway.
I never told Jeremy, but maybe I should have. He will of course be hurt by it and it will affect their relationship. All of our relationships actually. Tom wouldn't be happy about it either. Secrets — why so many secrets, Vanessa?
"I can only handle my parents in small doses, Gorgeous. There's no reason why we can't stay at the mansion, besides it'll make things easier."He replied."It's just a couple of days, let's try to enjoy it while we're here."
I guess that's easier said than done for some of us. My husband was happy that I came along and didn't put up a fuss about coming. Something tells me that he wouldn't have left me behind anyway. Jeremy is protective over me and I love that about him. It shows how much he loves me. But lately, it's become more intense and I don't know why that is.
That evening after some well-deserved takeout and wine, I walked through the mansion trying to appreciate it for what it was. It's where we started.
It was here that we fought day in and day out. He hated my presence. I walked up the stairs I once fell down when we argued. That was the day I realised that he cared for me more than he was letting on.
I pushed open the door of my old room, it was exactly the way I left it. My scarves still hung on the knob of the walnut wardrobe. I looked towards the dresser that I stood in front of when I found out my father had passed away. It was one of the hardest days of my life. And again, this house brought that memory back to me.
