Do you have to go?

Chapter 9

Over the week, Porco had been called into meeting after meeting and training for intense hours. Liberio was left in tatters after the Devil's Raid. The death count is in the tens of thousands and still counting. The Colossal Titan had taken out Marley's navy and the destruction of the Colossal transformation had left homes and shops destroyed deep in the internment zone. Many military personnel and civilians were killed. 

After one morning meeting, Porco came back into our room, clear rage radiated off of him. "That idiot!" he grunted as he kicked our dresser. 

"What is it darling?" I ask. I am due any moment now and my body feels like it. The baby is at full term now and we are just waiting for its debut.

"Reiner somehow convinced the brass that we should sneak attack Zeke and the rest of the Island devils. Magath wants us to wait a few more months but Reiner insists we go now."

My heart sank. I nearly lost Porco in the surprise Raid on Liberio, this is likely going to be his most dangerous battle yet. This time on their turf.

"Now?" I question. "Porco I am due any moment, you will miss it!" I placed a hand on my belly.

"I know that, but I have no choice. My love, if they come here again or do whatever it is that they plan to do, it may be too late for us. No, I am a titan and we must go and stop whatever it is that they are planning." His chest puffs up. "Otherwise, I have no idea what the future will hold for us." His eyes fall to my belly. He crosses the room and kneels on the floor in front of me. He presses his lips to my belly and whispers something, so quietly, not even I can hear before lifting his eyes to meet mine. "You need to be strong, you need to be brave without me. When I come back, we will be safe and I will get to meet my son." 

The next day I went to the gates of the internment zone to see Porco off. The midwives lent me a wheelchair so I could be in attendance. Porco wheels me over himself. The walk is silent, the summer evening breeze would otherwise be welcome, however with what is to come, we cannot enjoy it. The Warriors have to leave at night in order to infiltrate Paradis in the morning. When we reach the gate, Porco steps in front of me. 

"I promise, we will be back. We will be back with the founder, the war hammer, the attack titan, and Annie. We will beat Eren and stop him from doing something stupid. I will make a better place for us and I will avenge my brother," he rambles. "I love you."

I start to stand. 

"Isla you're not supposed to-"

"Stop!" I order him as I continue to push myself up. I use the arms of the wheelchair to anchor myself. He bends to place his arms on my waist ad under my shoulder. "I want to look at my husband at his level before he heads off." I force a sympathetic smile. His eyes soften. 

"Isla I-" 

"Shhhh," I put my finger to his lips. "You'll tell me when you get back. You'll tell us when you get back."

He is now holding most of my weight, I feel his arm tightening around my back to keep me upright. He says nothing.

"Do you have to go?" I ask. I know the answer. I know he must go, but there is a part of me, however pathetic, that wants him to stay. I want him to convince Magath that he is needed in Liberio. That he must stay...

"You already know the answer," he whispers as he presses his lips to mine. Despite his firm hold on me, his kiss is soft. For a quick second, I feel safe. The chaos of the past few days fades as I smell his aftershave on his neck and his soft hair tangles in my fingers. It felt as though time paused. It was just us at the Internment zone gates. 

And then reality came back. It was night, the airship chugged and the officers shouted at each other. Commanders barked orders and Eldian and Marleyan soldiers as they loaded the ship. I see Pieck and Reiner chatting as they board. Pieck smiles and waves in my direction quickly before she climbs onto the ship. 

Porco sets me back in the wheelchair and with a kiss on my belly and my forehead, he turns and heads to the gate. He rarely cries in front of anyone but I see him seemingly wipe his eyes with his sleeve before jogging to the ship. 

I stayed there until the ship disappeared into the clouds, taking Porco away in it. Taking my love away with it. I was supposed to be on the ship. Not here, in a wheelchair in Liberio. I was meant to be a warrior with them but instead, here I am. Crying over my husband leaving for a battle that I don't know if he will be back from. 

The fight that they are headed into is nothing like what they have been doing in the Mideast. Though that war was tough we were pretty sure to win. This is uncertain. Yeager has already taken most of our shifters, we only have three of the nine left and after the destruction, I've seen the devils caused here in Marley...I am worried. What if he breaks his promise to come back?