In The Bird Song | TWD

chapter 3 - in the fold

Trigger warning for discussed rape and suicide of a person that took place before the events of the story.

Pov Harlow

I'm back in the watch tower deep in thought, I can't help but think my chances of being let into the group are little to none now not only because I went to the infirmary with carl, which was a trip the group don't seem in support of. But also, because if what Lorrie said about me is a reflection of how the group views me then I doesn't seem I had much of a chance of being accepted to begin with.

I wonder if they will make me leave the prison all together, the very thought of that makes me feel like I'll be sick again, I only just now realize how terrifying the prospect of facing the outside alone really is. Would the group be so cruel as to make a defenceless teenager go out on their own?

I never used to have to do things on my own because for so long I had Enola, but I have her no more now all I have for companionship is the birds.

I'm snapped out of my musings by a knock coming from the underside of the trap door. I quickly dry my eyes and compose myself before shouting "come up"

To my surprise its carl that emerges, I guess he did listen to me about knocking earlier and that thought warms my chest a bit. Maybe the grime's kid isn't so annoying after all.

If carl can tell I've been crying he doesn't say anything he just plops himself down next to me, we sit in companiable silence for a while before he blurts out "do you have autism? I knew someone who did and you remined me of them"

I'm shocked for a minute that the not only knew the word but could connect it with the symptoms I showed earlier. It makes me unconfutable that he guessed my diagnosis as I usually keep that part of me a secret. I consider lying and denying that I'm on the spectrum but in the end, I decide just to tell the truth, it doesn't really matter if he knows or not, and Enola always told me too never be ashamed.

I nod and reply "yeah I'm autistic" he looks like he wants to ask me more about it but instead he only says "that's cool." After that we go back to sitting in silence but not the unconfutable kind, eventually I'm the one to break the quit with a question of my own "do you reckon there's a chance that your people will let me join your group or is that a long shot"

He contemplates my question for a while before responding "I'm not sure, they don't trust you because you're a stranger and the prison thing doesn't help your case, although I don't think they want to chuck you out either because of how young you are so it could go both ways."

I nod in response and carl gets up to leave however just before he goes down the ladder he pauses and adds "thanks by the way, for not letting that walker bite me." I smile and respond "anytime, grimes" and with that he leaves.

********

Pov Harlow

The sun is beginning to set and the birds are quitting when I hear someone shout for me, I get up and lean over the rail looking down to see the Asian man from before, he waves me down and I comply and begin descending the ladder to meet him.

"Everyone is around the fire ready to discuss what to do with you" he smiles and I nod feeling slightly sick. As we walk to the group I begin to nervously stim with my hand and the man clearly sensing my distress puts a comforting hand on my shoulder, which I don't like but I don't pull away he smiles and tells me "Try not to worry were not unreasonable and we try to be good people. Try to not be scared"

I want to tell him that anyone would be frightened if they were in my situation because if things don't go well, I will be all on my own again but this time surrounded by monsters. However, I feel too sick to speak so I just nod my head in response and we walk the rest of the way to the group in silence.