The Years that the Locusts Have Eaten

Chapter 8

            "Wait. Sandy, why is Jin on our schedule this week?" Caridad asked her co-worker. Sandy stood uncomfortably twirling her blond streaked hair.

"Um, I thought you knew," was all that Sandy could muster.

"No, I didn't know," Caridad replied, willing herself not to take out her anger on her innocent co-worker.

"Well, his secret wasn't going to last much longer," Sandy observed.

"It seems I'm the last to know that we're keeping secrets now," Caridad observed bitterly. She spent the next few hours trying to compose herself. The last thing she needed was to freak out on Jin in her place of work. She just couldn't believe that his tests had come out less than stellar and he had not said a word about it.

When Jin walked in later that day, he held a bouquet of flowers. Caridad gave him a look as if to say, "Oh, no, you didn't!"

So, as he approached her with the flowers, he said, "I brought these to cheer up the room."

"I was going to tell you they sure as hell better not be for me," Caridad replied, "because you, Mr. Kim, are on my list of people I'm not happy with." Jin stared at his white Adidas sneakers as he shuffled his feet nervously.

"I just didn't know how to tell you," he defended. "It seems like you have enough problems at the moment," he explained.

Caridad didn't give him a free pass. "It doesn't matter how much I have going on; I would still want to know about how you're doing. Do you have any idea how much Victoria has bonded with you?" she asked, a sob catching in her throat.

"Just Victoria?" Jin asked, attempting a jaunty grin.

"Don't you dare try to flirt your way out of this," Caridad exclaimed, but then lowered her voice when she realized she had attracted Sandy's attention as well.

Sandy merely shook her head and chuckled. "Car, you don't have to hide it. Everyone already knows about you two," she revealed. "Even Dr. Turner knows. He's just been pretending not to."

"Fantastic," Caridad replied dryly. "Well, at the rate we're going, there may not be anything going on between us at all," she added, glaring at Jin pointedly.

"Why don't you take your break now," Sandy suggested. "You two could get a coffee or something because you're seriously bumming out the vibe in here."

Caridad wrestled her curls into a topknot and motioned to Jin. "You!" she said sternly. "Come with me." Jin followed behind her dutifully. Today her lips were as red as a matador's cape, and she was no less frightening.

When they got their coffee and sat at one of the cafeteria tables, Jin finally spoke. "If you want out of this, I understand," he began.

"Want out of it?" Caridad questioned. "So, you take a turn for the worse, and you automatically think I want a way out?" she marveled. "Look, Jin, I deal with cancer every day. Granted I may not be romantically tied to my patients, but we do get close. So, if you think you are going to use cancer to scare me off, you'd better think again," she informed him.

"Well, I was hoping you wouldn't take me up on it," Jin admitted. "I just thought I should give you an out if you wanted one."

"I don't want one, but I just can't believe you didn't tell me you needed another round of chemo," Caridad replied, taking a sip of the coffee. She made a pained face. "I've worked here for seven years, and the coffee is still undrinkable," she complained. Jin smiled, hoping that the conversation had now shifted from him to the stale, brown water that the cafeteria passed off as coffee.

"How's Tyler doing?" Jin asked, just to make sure they were done talking about him.

"He's still in the hospital," Caridad replied. "He's getting his chemo up there."

"So, what's his prognosis?" Jin questioned, pushing his coffee away from himself in a sign that he had given up on it.

"Well, we always like to be hopeful in oncology," Caridad hedged. "My grandma used to say, 'Live in hope even if you do die in despair.'"

"Mm, sounds like a fun lady," Jin deadpanned.

"Well, her other famous saying was, 'Life sucks. Then you die,'" she replied. "I mean, I never said she wasn't clinically depressed, but she kind of has a point. If you spend too much time looking to be happy, you'll likely be disappointed," she explained.

Jin shot her a look of concern. "So, you've given up on being happy?" he asked.

"Look, life will always surprise you with sudden moments of sheer bliss, but most of life is about slogging through the daily muck," she answered.

Jin nodded slowly. "I guess I see what you mean. I spent my entire youth in BTS. I gave my fans my time, my energy, my life force. And now, I'm sitting here about to start another round of chemo. It looks like I'm not going to get the dream I had of getting married and giving my mom a couple of grandkids who look like me. None of that is going to happen," he admitted.

"You said the word, 'happen'," Caridad pointed out. "Happiness is about what happens. And sometimes, what's happening really sucks. So, there has to be something more to hold onto when life doesn't make you happy."

Jin looked at his hands and nervously massaged them. "Will you let me hold onto you when life doesn't make me happy?" he asked hesitantly

"I'd like to see you try to get away," Caridad challenged. "You just try and see what happens," she added. "We'd probably better get your chemo started," she said, glancing at her watch.

They walked back to the chemo room and Caridad got his IV hooked up. When she leaned over him to check his heartbeat, she gave him a silent air kiss to which he responded by clutching his hands to his chest in mock distress.

"Ow, my heart!" he gasped, flashing her a winning grin. "You're a real tease," he whispered only loud enough for her to hear.

"Do you want to come for dinner tonight?" she asked. "I got this new ice cream maker. I was planning on making strawberry ice cream from scratch."

"Now, you're just playing with my emotions," Jin teased. "I never met a strawberry I didn't like."

"See, I do my Jin research," she said coyly. "It's kind of nice to have a boyfriend who has all of his information on the internet."

"Am I your boyfriend now?" he asked as a seriousness fell over his features.

"Well, I don't make strawberry ice cream for just anyone," she replied.

"Then, I'll try to be worthy of it," he answered.

Just then, Caridad's phone began to ring. "I'd better take this," she said. "It's my friend, Krissy, who is picking up Victoria at school today," she explained.

"Hey, girl! What mischief are you two getting up to? You should have been here by now," she said as soon as she answered the phone. Jin watched her face go from joy to utter terror in the span of three seconds.

"What do you mean they released Vicky to her father?" Caridad demanded. "The teacher knows that he doesn't have custody. She knows not to let her dad pick her up," she exclaimed. "I'm on my way right now," she told her friend as she hung up the call.

Jin caught her arm before she ran off. "What's going on?" he asked.

"There was a substitute teacher at school. She didn't know that Vicki is not allowed to be released to her dad. So, she just let him take her," she explained hurriedly.

"Wow, there are just no words for something like that," Jin marveled.

"No, there is a word for it," Caridad insisted. "It's called kidnapping."