- slight eating disorder mentions
1st person
it's fucking freezing out for a monday, wasn't it supposed to be hot out? what fucking day is it?
i go to check the date but my phone's fucking dead. i just checked the time and it's dead? you're kidding me.
I'm pretty sure i dissociated on the way to school, i honestly cant remember but im at the entrance so it doesn't matter
as soon as i walk through the doors to my classroom, the shouts of everyone in there hit me, that's just great for my pounding headache. yeah right
"BAKUBRO!" shitty hair
"hey dude! i was worried you weren't gonna show up today! the bell's about to ring, normally you get here before us!"
"no shit, im also well aware of when the bell's going to ring. i live a bit from the school, im not gonna get here at 6:30 all the time like you losers" god my head is pounding.
he just laughs and slings his arm over my shoulder, smiling
"are you gonna fucking move or do i have to ram past you to get to my seat?"
"oh- yeah sorry dude!" he removes his arm and i walk past and sit down. he's rambling about something but i could care less about it
the bell rings and aizawa walks in with his sleeping bag. he looks like he just fucking died and came back, someone get him some
damn melatonin
"quiet. i know we were supposed to go out for training but honestly i cant be bothered to, so present mic is gonna take over class today. you have an English test on friday so be greatful."
the class stares at him like he grew 3 heads, a moment of silence passes before everything starts up again
"WHAT??"
"sensei you can't just drop that on us"
"YEAH! that's, like, so unfair!"
four eyes raises his hand,"sensei it seems counter productive to inform us of a test that's two days away, that leaves barely any time to study and prepare!"
two days? but the test is on Friday? what fucking day is it
aizawa glares at him,"i dont care, you're heroes in training, you need to be prepared for anything"
present mic enters the room so aizawa starts to walk out, mumbling something about there being coffee in the teachers lounge.
———
lunch. the worst hour by far. a room full of loud and obnoxious idiots who don't know how to mind their business.
"so bakubro," here we go
"we were thinking of going to the mall on Saturday! we wanted you to come with us" pikachu steals some of his food while he's not looking, shitty hair steals it from pikachu right after
"seroooo now he's gonna have a chance to say no!!" mina whines, she swats away pikachus hand with her fork as he tried to steal her food as well
"i would have said no anyways, pinky" i can feel their disappointment
they start trying to convince me to come with them, even if i did i wouldn't remember shit. I've been dissociating a lot recently. the conversation somehow turns into an argument about who is in which Hogwarts house, but they're all wrong about who's in which house
"be right back" i grab my bad and head to the bathroom, i check if anyone else is inside the stalls before stepping into one an locking it
my head is fucking pounding, i needed to get out of there. i cant deal with those idiots arguing about whatever the fuck right now.
'it's Wednesday , by the way!'
......
what
"who the fuck said that" i peak my head to look under the stall door, no one
'me, duh, himiko! it's Wednesday. not monday'
"i heard you the first time, where the hell are you?" i look through the slit at the stall door, i dont see anyone
'in your head dumbass, why are we in the bathroom?'
"okay, so im hearing shit. great. fucking great."
'you aren't hallucinating or anything dude, like i said im in your head! jeez'
what the fuck, i decide not to respond out loud, incase someone walks in and thinks there's some nut job loose in the school
'the fuck do you mean you're not a hallucination, how else would i be hearing shit in my fucking head'
'wait do you not know? shit- im sorry, im himiko! you're apart of a DID system, you know, dissociative identity disorder?'
'i know what DID is idiot, what are you talking about? doesn't that shit need like- trauma to develop? i dont have that shit'
what the hell is going on? first he misses his alarm, he can't remember what day it is, he's got a massive fucking headache and has dissociated most of the day already. now some fucking voice is telling him he's got DID? no way this isn't some fever dream.
'....sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, but like i said you're part of a system. sorry for the headache by the way, and the dissociation, that kinda always happens with this whole thing
'uh, right. backtrack, you said i had trauma? what do you mean, i have no idea what's going on right now'
'jeez straight to the hard questions,, it's part of the disorder, another alter kinda.. took over when we were a kid? they took most of the hits and stuff, but our brain kind of locked away some memories to protect us'
okay. that's starting to make a bit more sense
'so, what? i got yelled at as a kid and now there are people living in my fucking head?'
'exactly! see that was easy, by the way im pretty sure you're normally fronting- or like, in control, but now that you're actually aware of shit we're gonna try our best to fill you in on stuff that happens when you aren't!'
breathe katsuki
'okay. yeah whatever.'
'im pretty sure the bell rings in a second, we should probably go since we've been in this stall like, the entire lunch period'
i didnt realize i- we?- i was in here for that long, i pick up my bag and exit the bathroom
as soon as i step through the classroom doors shitty hair is in my face, fucking interrogating me
"dude! where'd you go? you missed like the whole lunch period! did you at least get something to eat?"
"oh fuck off, none of your business, i did fucking eat though" liar
he smiles at me, throwing his arm around my shoulders
"i wanted to ask about the mall this weekend! we really want you to come with us!!! please? it would be so manly"
i walk to my desk, "are you going to leave me the fuck alone?" i sigh, my head is still pounding, wonder if- what's her name? himiko? hopefully she knows how to fucking deal with that
"nope! not one bit" oh he thinks he's so fucking funny
"if i say yes will you shut the fuck up" he fucking beams at me, he fist bumps the air
"YES! dude this is gonna be so fun!!!" he runs over to the rest of the idiots and they all get excited, fuck knows why
aizawa walks back into the classroom to explain what we're doing the rest of the day.
the fuck did i get myself into
YOU ARE READING
who am i ?
Fanfictionkatsuki wasn't present for most of his life, but he knew that the day his quirk manifested was the day his life crumbled. he's got some help and support though, it still counts if they're living in your head right? ~ This is really just for whenever...
