So I Married a Rockstar

Chapter Twenty-Three

Ch.23: Backstage Pass

Don drove Jude, Annie, and me to the park, but he'd swapped the usual silver Bentley for an unremarkable black car – apparently Jude's choice. Neil had wanted him to show up in style, pulling up in a flashy limo and stepping out in front of his adoring fans. Jude had vetoed that in favour of an anonymous arrival.

The gig didn't start for hours, but already fans were gathered in front of the stage, some of them carrying homemade placards that declared their love for the band or for Jude, and my stomach knotted. I wasn't a jealous person, and someone with Jude's looks and fame would always get him a lot of attention.

But there was something very discomforting about realising that a significant number of people would take him from me in a heartbeat if they could. A significant number of people hated me because I was with Jude, and they'd happily say that to my face. There were people out there – maybe in that very crowd – who'd gleefully celebrate if we broke up, and wish genuine harm on me if we didn't.

All of that was very different than women just flirting with him.

Jude squeezed my hand. "You okay?" he said.

I forced a smile. "Just nervous."

Another time I'd have told him what was on my mind, but he'd been crackling with restless, eager energy since we'd left the loft, psyching himself up for the gig. I didn't want to bring him down.

"Don't worry, you'll be safe backstage, and you've got this." Jude held out his hand to Annie, and she gave him a red pass on a lanyard. Jude hung the lanyard around my neck.

"Access all areas," he said.

I couldn't explain that it wasn't just Jude's zealous fans that made me nervous. It was the fact that I was about to plunge into the deep end of a part of Jude's life that I'd previously only seen through a screen.

Annie started chattering about sound checks, and travel arrangements to the hotel where the interviews were taking place, and making sure that security was aware of our movements, and it wasn't a discussion I could contribute to, so I quickly tuned out.

I wished that Elle was with us, but she was busy shooting a music video for her own upcoming album, and somehow I hadn't wanted to ask my mum or Willa. As important as they were to me, they still felt separate from my life with Jude, and until I knew what would happen at the end of this month, I was afraid to blur the lines between my old life and my new one.

Once we arrived at Hyde Park, Jude whisked me backstage before anyone spotted us, and I felt a sharp stab of relief that he'd refused Neil's proposed grand entrance. There was only so much of the spotlight that I could handle at a time.

This gig was smaller than anything Angels & Demons had done for years, but stage techs and security, all sporting headsets and dressed in black so they weren't too visible backstage, still bustled everywhere, and I clung to Jude's hand so I wouldn't get in anyone's way. A few people did double-takes when they saw me, either because they recognised me or because I was holding Jude's hand, but luckily they were too professional to say anything.

Annie peeled away from us almost immediately, and started interrogating a burly man with a buzzcut that I assumed was a member of security.

"I want to show you the stage," Jude said.

He led me up a series of steps and through heavy, dark curtains that hung from towering pillars, and then we were standing on the stage and I was shielding my eyes against the burst of lights coming from the rigs overhead.

"Wow," I murmured.

A huge drum kit was already assembled behind us, and a rack of guitars, polished and gleaming under the lights, waited quietly nearby. Microphones stood closer to the edge of the stage like metal sentries.