Cigarettes And Cherries || Xavier Thorpe

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TW:Self harm

You and Xavier have been at Nevermore for a few weeks and you've been able to master your new powers, you're finally able to control them and it's thanks to Xavier and the teachers at the school.

You've finally arrived home, you're standing in front of your door as you're searching for your keys and once you've found them, you carefully unlock the door and get inside. 

You take your shoes off and close the door behind you, you get inside and start to unpack your bag. As you carefully put your clothes away, you start to think about the past turbulent days you've had, especially your issue with  your self harming behaviour.

Once you're done putting your clothes away, you sit down on your bed and stare at your legs. Why did you want to hurt yourself again? What was wrong with you...? You had promised Xavier to stop, but you can't think of anything else. This behaviour reminds you of your teen self and your past, self destroying behaviours...You thought you have gotten over it, but it seems like the whole event with Wednesday and Xavier has revived it.

You slowly look at the blades on you table, as you contemplate your future actions, your hand has already taken the blade. As you stare at it, you think about the scars on your legs. Do you really want to do it? You think about it for a while until you decide to cut your left thigh this time. You watch as your blood flows out of your body, the red colour slowly running down your leg and completely painting it in that beautiful colour. 

You just continue to stare at it, it's so much more blood than the last time you did it. Your mind is captivated by the red blood, you cannot think of anything else, but you're suddendly brought back by your door bell. You look to the door and you would usually freak out and try to hide your wounds, but you don't really care at this point. You just go to the door and you open it, you see Xavier standing there.

"Hey I thought I'd visit." He is smiling, but as soon as he notices your wound and the whole blood, his smile goes away and he just stares at you in disbelief.

"What...? You said you would stop!" He looks so angry and he pulls you inside and closes the door, he seems so stressed out and he looks for tissues and disinfectant, while you just stand there trembling, you can feel your body getting colder and you can't really think straight, everything looks so foggy. Once Xavier finds the things he looked for, he sits you down and starts to take care of your wounds while he is sitting on the ground.

He looks so angry and sad at the same time, you didn't want him to see you in this state, but you honestly can't think about it right now. You slowly close your eyes, everything feels so cold and numb, you're slowly letting go and relaxing. As xavier notices that, he starts to freak out.

"Hey...Hey don't close your eyes!!! Stay awake, you've lost too much blood!" He screams as he he gets scared, he shakes you until you slowly open your eyes and lookn at him. He stares at you while he is panicking, but your wounds suddendly start to close up, as if your powers worked without your own intention. 
Xavier sighs and looks at the tissues soaked in your blood.

"My muse...You promised you would stop..Imagine if I hadn't found you..." He whispers as he looks at you, but you just stare at the ground.

"I'm...sorry...I think...I just did it without thinking..." You whisper as you stare at the ground. He just looks at you, he's still shocked but he carefully takes your hand and kisses it.

"I will never leave you alone, so please, if you ever need anything, just call me and I'll be there immediately." You just nod as he says that.

"Can I get a hug?" You whisper, and he starts to hug you without any hesitation. You hug him back and close your eyes, while your face is pressing against his chest, his head is resting on yours. You close your eyes and enjoy the moment, you still wonder how your leg could heal itself without you using your powers on purpose, though.

Xavier carefully kisses your head and you slowly let go of each other, your legs are still wobbly and he slowly sits you down and pulls some candy out of his pockets.

"Eat this, you need some sugar in your blood." He takes the wrapping off of the candies and you slowly eat a few of them. You start to feel better after you've eaten some of the candies.

"You can stay at my place, you don't need to be alone if it makes you feel worse." Xavier looks at you and you just nod, so you slowly start to put some other clothes on and you both go over to his place.

You both get inside and as you go to his room, you just look at the ground. Once you're in his room, he slowly closes the door and you look at his bed, where you both got intimate the first time and you blush at that thought. 
He sits down on his bed and he puts half of his hair into a man bun and you just look at him, he looks so hot with his hair put into a man bun, while the rest of it is touching his shoulders.

"You look too hot..." You whisper as you stare at him and he blushes, he slowly pulls you closer and sits you down on his lap, he has never been like that, but you kinda like it. You're sitting on his lap as he is holding you by your waist, his grip is so strong, but it doesn't hurt you.

He just stares at you while you look him into his eyes, his eyes look right through you, as if he is staring right into your soul. You slowly put your arms on his shoulders and lean in to kiss him, he holds you closer to himself as you both start to kiss, your tongues touching each other and your bodies pressing against each other. You enjoy the moment and the way you're both so close to each other. 

Once you slowly stop kissing, he carefully caresses your back, you love the feeling of his fingers going over your back, it calms you down, even though it's such a small gesture.

You start to kiss his neck and it seems like it feels amazing to him, as he let's a quiet moan out and you blush as you hear that, but you continue to kiss his neck while he goes over your back.

Xavier slowly starts to put his hand under your shirt to continue and caress your back, you can feel his warm, big hand touching your cold back. You just look at him and put his other hand from your waist on your chest, he looks at you as he blushes. 

You smile at him and he smiles right back at you, gosh it feels so amazing to be with him...

But sadly, you're both being interrupted by his father getting inside. Xavier immediately takes his hands off of you and puts them on your waist. His father doesn't look too happy to be seeing you with him.

"I won't discuss it again. You always make such bad choices." Xavier looks so angry as his father says that and you just look away, gosh he makes you so angry, you hate his father. How could the father be such an asshole while Xavier is such a great guy?

"The only thing I regret is being your son." Xavier looks at his father and his father gets quite angry.

"Young man, you should be more respectful towards your father. Without me you would be nothing." Xavier gets even more angry at him and his grip gets even stronger.

"Oh yeah? At least I can hold my relationship, where is mom, huh?" You look at Xavier as he says that, his voice seemed shaky and hurt as he says that. Those words infuriate his father even more, to the point that he starts to scream.

"Don't bring your mother into this, you disrespectful brat." He looks at him, angrily, as you're still sitting on Xavier's lap. 

"Just leave me the fuck alone..." He screams at his dad and his father just stares at hin until he leaves the room without saying anything else.

You just look at Xavier as you're quite sad, but he doesn't say anything at first.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You whisper as you carefully touch his hair.

"That man...He has never been a father to me...He is always angry and screaming, no wonder mom left...I would too if I could...." He just stares at the ground as he says that.

You hug him and caress his back, you try to comfort him as good as you can, while he sits there and holds you close.