Cigarettes And Cherries || Xavier Thorpe

Guilt

After what happened with Nirval and the assault, you haven't been quite the same.
You've been feeling ashamed and disgusted, not only at Nirval, but at yourself as well. You are aware of the fact that it wasn't your fault and that you've been the victim of that assault, but you can't shake the feeling of disgust and guilt off of yourself.

Why did that happen to you? What did you do to deserve it? You've felt quite down and you haven't been able to leave your bed for the last couple of days, only  to fulfill your basic needs.
But other than that, you've been in your bed, under your blanket, in a fetus position, lost in your thoughts.

You don't want to do anything, you want to be left alone, even by Xavier, he didn't do anything wrong but you don't want him to touch you or anything, as your feeling of disgust has been devouring you from the inside.

Xavier has tried to leave you some space as you've asked him to give him some time, but he has also spent quite some time sitting on the ground next to your bed, not on your bed, since he knows how hurt you are and he doesn't want to invade your space.

He just sits there and tries to comfort you with his kind words, he tells you how much he loves you and how you're an amazing person.

"I will take care of it." He is sitting next to you as he says that, you can't see him as you're under your blanket, but you can hear how hurt and angry he is.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there the whole time to protect you from him, even though I was the one who told you about how dangerous Nirval could be...I shouldn't have left you." You can hear how shaky his voice is, it hurts you too, as you aknowledge it.
You slowly pull your blanket away and look at him, his eyes are watery and he is  grinding his teeth as a sign of anger and sadness.

"Please don't be sad... It wasn't your fault..." As you whisper, he looks up to you and as he notices that you've taken the blanket away, he seems quite glad to see you.

"Can I hold your hand?" He is always asking you before he does anything, as you've had that traumatic experience.
You nod and he carefully puts his hand on yours and caresses it.
He kisses your hand as well and looks at it.

"That asshole will pay for what he did..." He let's you go and storms outside, what will he do?
You stand up and run after him, you're still in your pyjamas, but you don't care at all.
You try to find him but you've lost him, you walk around and try to find him.
You can hear his voice from far away, but it's not his voice or him talking, it feels like you can hear his thoughts.
Are you going completely crazy? Why are you able to hear his thoughts?

You're somewhat scared, but you don't care right now, you take advantage of it and follow his thoughts. You finally find Xavier and Nirval at the fountain of the school. They seem to be in a fight, as you look over to them.

"What were you thinking?! You're so disgusting, I've let you do many shitty things in the past...But that was too much, you've gone too far..." Xavier seems so angry, but Nirval just laughs at him.

"You think so? It seems like you still haven't understood what sirens do. They lure people of the opposite sex to do things with them. It's basic outcast law. And since your little supposed 'normie' girl is cute, I decided that I wanted her." Nirval laughs as he says that, it infuriates Xavier even more.

"You're such an idiot... That's not a law, you've made that up to justify your behaviour. You will pay for what you did. " Xavier suddendly jumps on him and punches him right in the face and he doesn't seem to stop soon, you can see the rage in his eyes, which has taken complete control over him.

You see how Nirval's nose starts to bleed and how he laughs at Xavier.

"You think that will stop me?" He starts to fight Xavier back and they break out into a full fight, Xavier seems to be so blinded by his anger, you're so scared that you run towards them and try to separate them but it doesn't seem to work, but Nirval suddendly pushes you away.

"Don't get inbetween. It's a fight between men." Xavier doesn't even look at you as he says that, he seems so angry and full of rage. You can smell how he has been smoking weed before he started confronting Nirval, his eyes are quite red as well.

They both continue to fight and you're just concerned but you don't know what to do, until your telekinesis suddendly shows itself and pushes both away from each other into the opposite directions.

"I said stop!" You run to Xavier and sit down next to him and you hug him tightly, Xavier seems quite nervous and he puts his hand on your back.
"I don't want to stop, he has hurt you...He should be dead..." He whispers as he stares at Nirval with his death stare, you've never seen him with that look. It's so scary and new to you, that you don't know what to say at first.

"I know... but I don't want you to get hurt..." You look him into the eyes.
"You've got hurt too and you deserve revenge...And I don't care if I get hurt because you only got hurt because I left you..." He stands up as he says that and goes towards Nirval, as if they want to fight again.

But luckily, a teacher appears and stops them before they start their fight again. The teacher takes them away to talk to both, you're also questioned by another teacher and as you tell them what happened, they're shocked.

Later on, you wait in your room for Xavier to come back.
Suddendly the door opens and Xavier gets inside, he doesn't seem as high anymore.
"Is everything okay? Why did it take so long?" You look at him and he stares at the ground, until he comes to you and sits next to you.
"I got a penalty for starting a fight and taking drugs...But they've sent Nirval away and there will be further consequences to what he did to you." He looks at you with his lovely eyes and you feel relieved, you're glad about the fact that Nirval was sent away and that there will be legal consequences.

"I love you." You hug Xavier and he seems somewhat surprised.
"Thank you for what you did... But please, be careful and don't fight...It will only get you hurt and I don't want that." You caress his back as you continue hugging him.

"Okay...I will try to be less aggressive, I don't want you to be scared..." He looks into your eyes and slowly kisses you and you both close your eyes.

Xavier still seems hurt and so are you, your wounds will take some time to heal but you will both work on it together.

"Do you want to go to my old shed where I used to spend my time and draw when I was a student at Nevermore?" He looks at you with his lovely eyes, you nod instantly.

"I just have to change into some other clothes." You're really curious at how his old shed looks like, it must have been an amazing place for him, where he could express his creativity.