Sparks

Chapter 42: "I haven't said I loved him, Dion."

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JOY'S P.O.V.

I thought hard, coming from my brother's mouth. My father has a heart problem that I don't know. I mean, of course, he didn't tell me about it. I'm just a disappointment in this house. He had a heart attack last night, and I don't know if it's because of the statement about Martin or if he's too overwhelmed.

Today Claude and I came to the hospital to see my father after school, but I wasn't allowed to enter since my brother said he was not ready. Ready for what exactly? He even allowed Claude to see him, and they had an hour-long conversation. After they talked, I waited for an hour and a half, and finally, Dion came out of the room and said, "father is ready to see you, Joy," when I grabbed Claude's hand, he said, "alone."

I nodded and swallowed hard the lump in my throat. Before I opened the door, Claude mouthed "be strong" to me, and I replied to her with a genuine smile. That's all I need before dealing with the final boss. I opened the door and smelled the familiar smell inside, just like I remember every time I met my mother on her deathbed. The sound of the heart monitor made me uneasy, "don't mind the heart monitor. Please sit down."

It's like my father knew the beeping sound made me uncomfortable, "how do you know?" I asked.

"About the beeping sound? Of course I know. You're my daughter," my father said, chuckling and followed by a cough.

"Why would you hide it from me?" I asked without looking into his eyes.

"What? My heart conditions?" he asked back, "it's nothing. This can be fixed. I'm not like your mother."

Confused, I tilted my head, "what do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I can live after a heart attack," My father gave me the infamous smirk that always melts any girl's heart; he's always charming as ever, even in his hospital bed, "I just thought it was not a problem. But... Honesty," he laughs for a second, "n- now I'm scared."

I saw his hand shaking a little, and I held it, "what if I die? What's going to happen to you?" He held his head with his palm, "i can't see you growing up, or even see Dion's child."

I said to myself, "I- I don't know what to do without you, father."

I don't understand him sometimes. I feel like my father is bipolar. At first, he would scream at me, and now he's being nice, "how do you feel after knowing Martin made someone pregnant?"

I controlled my breathing as I wiped my tears, "honestly? I don't care. I already know this girl Hannah from the start."

"I'm sorry, Joy. I should have been the one to know first before you."

It startled me to hear him apologize to me.

"I- I don't mind, father. I don't love him, so... Yeah. Why should I care about a person who has been hurting me?" I shrugged, "why would you allow a predator to get close to your daughter? He's a bad person, father."

"When I saw how Martin choked you, I realized I made a mistake-"

You should have realized years ago

"When he was introduced to me for the first time, he looked like a decent boy. But, years later, I didn't know he would turn like this."

I look down at my feet. I didn't know what to say except, "people changed. Like you, father," I thought this was a perfect time. I told my father, "you changed after mother's death. You never learn to accept it and just leave everything behind."

"Honey, doesn't mean my silence is a lack of grief. My silence is how I mourn her death," My father's eyes were starting to get watery, "I love her to death. I leave all the things that are related to her because it hurts so much. Always ache my heart everytime I thought about her."