One Of Us

Emotions Are For Children

Sayuri Rei

My hands are trembling as I finish writing up the summary of my capture by the Port Mafia. I can feel my eyes are heavy with tears and my nose stings when I inhale. I believe this is the feeling one gets when they are on the bridge of tears.

I distantly hear a knock on the door before I hear talking in the other room and then I hear footsteps coming towards my room.

"Chuuya and Yuma are here," says Dazai. "I figured we could set up a bed for Yuma in here and Chuuya can sleep on the couch outside in the living room." I hear him cross the room, but I haven't lifted my head. I don't want him to see me holding back tears, because then he'll ask questions. But I can't seem to fool him. Dazai's warm, slender fingers take the pen from my hand and set it on the desk. He takes my hand in his and laces our fingers together, gently tugging me to my feet to stand and face him. I keep my head tilted down, but with his free hand, he tilts my chin up to him and lets his chocolate eyes roam my face. "You don't have to finish all that paperwork right now." He whispers, "it's probably too soon after a traumatic event like that to talk or write about it. I'm sure the President will understand- ... Rei?"

"H-he cut me," I whisper, tears falling down my face as I blink them out of my eyes. "Blood was everywhere... it was mine... they left so many scars..." my knees suddenly give out and Dazai's hand wraps around my waist to keep me upright. He pulls me close and I bury my face into his chest... and I sob. I let all of the built up stress and terror flow freely out of my mind in muffled, quiet sobs.

I feel his hand leave my own and he starts to play with my hair, gently running his fingers through the colorless strands, "Who cut you? Chuuya?" He asks softly.

"N-no... no. Someone else... one of the weapons s-specialists ... I don't... I don't know what he looked like... I-" I feel Dazai tense a little, and I get the feeling he knows exactly who I'm talking about. His tension probably has nothing to do with me wrapping my arms around him.

He hugs me tighter, "don't worry. You're safe here, I won't let anything happen to you."

"He was bigger than you... what if they come?" My brain is all jumbled, my face wet with tears. My voice is shaking so much I doubt Dazai can understand me.

"They'll have to go through me first."

After I have calmed down enough to be able to have a full conversation with someone, Dazai wipes the tears from my face and studies me closely once more. "Are you going to be alright seeing them right now?"

I give a small nod, not trusting myself to speak again without breaking down into tears. He pulls me into a small hug again and then together we walk into the hall.

My heart lifts a little at the sight of my two closest friends. Yuma is already hugging me and once she lets go and I have escaped from her bone-crushing embrace, Chuuya gives me an awkward pat on the shoulder, glancing at Dazai who has walked into the kitchen to get his guests something to drink.

"We're just friends, Chuuya-"

"Are you kidding?!" He whispers. Both him and Yuma look incredulous, "Sayuri, he looks at you like you're his whole world. " Chuuya snorts, rolling his eyes, "'Just friends.' Please, you two need to grow up and just realize that-"

"Realize what?" Dazai is suddenly standing behind me, handing out water to Yuma and Chuuya.

"Nothing!" Yuma hums, "Nothing, don't worry about it, Dazai. Um, thanks for letting us stay here, by the way."

Dazai nods slowly as I look up over my shoulder at him, then back to Chuuya. My friend shoots me a look and I only make a face at him in return.

"Alright, it's very late everyone," Dazai announces, "And Rei and I have a mission briefing tomorrow so we best get some sleep now." He turns to start walking back to his room when I stop him.

"You're not getting away without letting me clean your healing bullet wound."

"Don't worry, I'll clean it myself-"

"No, no you won't," I say, following him down the hall. Dazai breaks into an almost-playful run and tries to swing the door shut but I make it inside just in time. I hit the light switch and he throws his hands over his eyes in an overdramatic manner.

"Ah! Stop that!"

"Oh grow up, you're not a vampire," I murmur, crossing the room to his desk and making him sit down on the edge of his bed. I collect fresh bandages along with an alcohol wipe to disinfest the stitches over his wound. I make him roll up his sleeve all the way above his bicep, where the stitches are. I start by unraveling his bandages and then tearing open the wipe and cleaning the stitches.

Dazai winces a little bit, causing me to stop and pull away the wipe immediately, but he only smiles a little and shakes his head of shaggy chocolate curls. "Just a little sore."

I nod and finish cleaning his stitches before wrapping a strip of gauze around it and bandaging it securely. My gaze drops to the bandages around his forearms and hands and he must notice me glancing at them because he says, "Just to cover scars." He tells me, "they don't need to be there for any serious reason." When I meet his eyes, I don't believe him, but I stand up anyways and go to put away the supplies.

Then I start towards the door but he reaches out and gently pulls me into a hug. Dazai ducks his head and presses a kiss into my cheek.

I skillfully stop myself from going rigid. "What is this?"

"Affection," he murmurs as he rests his head on my shoulder.

"Disgusting."

.........

"Do it again."

He lets out a small chuckle before lifting his head and kissing my hair as I lean my head against his chest. Sometimes it's nice to hug people taller than you

"Good night, Rei," he says, pulling away. Though his collared shirt helps to hide it, I still can see the redness of his neck, and his ears are flushed as well. I'm lucky because my hair hides my own pink ears. Dazai smiles, "If you ever need me..." he starts, voice trailing off.

I nod, smiling some, "I know where to find you." I swallow, standing there without leaving for just a beat too long. Because if I'm going to be completely honest... I'm thinking about kissing him. For real.

But then I decide that I don't have the guts to do it, and I duck my head a little as I walk out of his room.

On my way to my room, Chuuya raises a brow, "Just friends..." I hear him murmur, then sigh. I wrinkle my nose at him, before he smiles at my look and calls, "'Night, Rei!" After me.

As I walk into my room and see Yuma making her air mattress, I feel my skin still tingling from where Dazai kissed me. I reach up a few fingers and run them over the spot, but the tingling doesn't stop. But the weird thing about it is that... I don't mind it.

Not one bit.